I have Ark...
By - dragonmoto
If I bred her with her father the offspring would be much better looking and have better stats
Sweet home Alabama
*banjo music intensifies*
Ooh! She's pretty! Sweet and I have bolas! Okay so I'll just club her, bring her back and she'll make a nice addition to the others I have.
Man I love looking for colours!
No no, just go back in time far enough and this is fine
u mean the 50’s?
No the 69's
Aaaa I see what u did there
Fart - her
It's funny cause bolas means balls in portuguese
I'm Portuguese so I was bit confused when I sarted playing, the whole game was in English but there was an item called bola=ball so o taught it would be a volleyball ball or a football (soccer) ball so I crafted to play. It wasn't a ball. (real story)
Also in Spanish lol
Broken and runs like a wobbly deer with shattered legs on sheet of thin ice. Abused by her fans so that others can't and don't want to play with her. Yet beautiful, fun and bags of potential if she was owned by the right people.
I'm only keeping you until I find something better.
That a fast way to start a boss fight
Wow it’s got a lot of weight
Literally the best one I’ve seen 😂😂
She's pretty slow though
I’ve been in this shit hole for 3 years and I desperately want to leave but keep staying
are you ok
Is anyone who plays this game okay? I think not
Thank god Diablo Resurrected is coming out soon
Hard to get to those obelisks on Abb, eh?
Yeah, it's hard not to stay in the same spot. Found one right next to water, with a very occasional drop that sometimes gives me good loot or lets me transfer to maintain some other bases, but most of the time, it's just surrounded by scorpions and raptors.
I'll just say that if youre playing single-player, water pipes are suprisingly cheap
Wrong color. Kill it.
Edit: this is the most upvotes I've ever gotten. I just have to say kill someone because wrong color. 🤣
I love to feed children to their mother.
This is definitely the best so far
And by best I mean it’s so wrong it’s amazing
It’s fucking hilarious to me because my white cousin and her pasty white boyfriend had a black baby together and he acted like nothing was wrong.
Hey just a mutation nothing unnatural about that.
Worth it for the boosted stats.
probably got an oxygen mutation too
You already know he got that wasted movement D:
bad weight kill it
There's too much spoiled meat.
Lmao this one got me rolling
Rotten meat on a human, why is that even funny
I knocked her out, tamed her, and bred her with one I’d already mutated.
I just really need a break from this constant fucking, every second it fucks me and if by some miracle I happen to weasel my way out and get some peace it just follows me around trying to fuck me even harder because it missed out before.
Inaccurate, you havent tried to have kids with someone yet
We should have enough narc to keep her down
I need a gas mask before I go into this cave
I’m done 😂
So you made this post so you could show off your comment? 😂
Just breed her with her father and get a better one.
I've had this one for awhile. I've got a better one on ice. I think I'll just give it to my friend
I need meat... Where's the babies.
I’m going to let the whole tribe breed her
Why are there so many death bags in here?
Why do I hear boss music?
I’m going to force feed her some more narcotics, she’s about to wake up!
I love having triplets.
i should knock it out with a club.
"You're going to be my breeder"
Breed the mutated child with the mother
Ark fucks me daily
Damn she’s pretty! I’ll just knock her out and shove her full of my meat until she obeys me.
I keep looking for something better but I always end up coming right back to you
This boss will be available in 9:58...
The stuttering is a dealbreaker
Literally wasted 18 months of my life on this shit
Nah they mean what true about only ark not both ark and your gf
You could fit a 6 man tribe in there!
Let's do some narcotics
I really need to invite some friends
I might just harvest it for meat because it’s costing me too many resources to keep around
I love ark
Bro your relationship doing ok?
If the baby doesn't come out with your stats, I'm gonna kill it with a club.
See, males are awesome because they can just fuck without limits and slam babies into anyone I so choose. But for some reason the females have a vaginal cooldown so we should get lots of girls here to pump his babies into. Slaughter the weak.
Honestly I don’t care if it’s not the best, I love riding it cause it’s fun.
This doesnt look as good as I remember.
I wonder how much that giga weighs
Half these are incest jokes
I think more like a quarter but still there's a lot of incest jokes here.
There were a lot less comments to sort thru so when i commeneted yea it was half
Now if you're going to tell me that half of these are sex jokes I would say no bullshit like 3/4 of them are sex jokes. End my suffering please
Did you leave the gates open?
I’m in a committed relationship with ark
The bushes hide a lot of bugs.
There are to many survivors in this cave
Otters are better than [gf]
Time to imprint
Its worth the money
I named my newest pig baby Shit Machine.
Just dive in the crack and pull out an egg
I can't wait to ride this giant hairy ape
Eat shit and die if you can’t get out
This game sucks 😭
Its too hard
Piece of fucking shit let me tame you faster you fucking piece of crap
Didn’t get her mom’s stats, she’s dead
It takes a lot of time but itll grow on you. Then you mess up and quit
And then you come you come back because you need to give ark a second chance. And then it hurts you when you leave and then you come back again. It's like a bad habit it never goes away but you want to get rid of it
i love when she has little mutated babies!
It started off well but now it's getting too difficult, I should probably just cheat.
It's much better with friends, or even some nice strangers
I tamed it while it was unconscious down by the river
I have it
Oh no, not another brown one, just kill it
PS, its about parasaurs
Bloated with lots of information and spaghetti
Yo theres alot of old and creepy looking stuff in here
What i really need is a gas bag.
Bold of you to assume that anyone who plays ark has a gf
Well my boyfriend and I play but literally last night he said he wanted to take a break for a while from the game... I told him I didn't believe one word he said haha. Might be the months of building up a really good base without getting raided and then finally getting raided this week by a strong tribe. Oh well.
yea, i dont. but i am married :D
I love you
takes up too much space
I just wish I could beat it.
Ima tame this bitch
Ive bought it 4 times
For inbreeding enthusiasts
this one doesnt fit for breeding
My god so much fur on that 🦫
What do I name her?
I really enjoy spending time with you
Ark never left me
I'm gonna drug you and force you to eat my meat
Ill just log in for a little while
One i do have the other i dont
For god sake this baby has no mutations *pulls out shotgun*
Smithy, Forge, Bed, Chest.
I'm DONE decorating the base...time to play.
This fucking dinosaur won't get off my dick
"I've been practicing in single player all day but it's still so hard!"
i bought her 3 years ago when she was on sale
I've never been fucked so hard in my life
This pig looks like a good ride
You're too big
She ate everything in the ..... trough.
You make me happy.
Hope you have a great day!
If i use the Power Of Incest it will have better mutations, DAMNIT wrong color, gotta kill it now.
Shitty/not always the best
I just kept shoving meat into her mouth until she tamed.
We can keep this baby but not the others. Kill them.
How do i put the saddle on her? She just keeps running away... Oh i need to tame her first? How do i make tranquilizer darts?... (2 hrs later) Omg i killer her.
Shit it's not agroed.
Where did I put my breeder?
I'm gonna kill the baby because it not mutated
This one isn't worth breeding.
Your beaver is weak
Ill kill her babies for her to level
Why do women pass out faster then men?
Is always there for me
God damnit it came outta no where.
I hate it
Tamed with broth of enlightenment
It's completely useless
I love Ark
Sucks big D :(
It's a love hate relationship
Would you look at that , a brown drop.
I have ark.
I seen your rex tape...
A little narcotics, a little food and boom, a new baby factory for my stable, and if you disappoint...well your base attack fodder.
Now to breed her with her father/brother!
Incest is key
Lets just breed her with a father and hope the kid is heavily mutated, strong and shit
I have ark 🥲
I have ark
I have Ark
I beat it pretty easily.
I get fucked by it every day
Damn It dies!.. Well, lets punch a New one
Gimme your poop
I love the bleed on that thing.
That’s a trex
I think I'll go put on some hazard gear and explore the trenches.
This one has too much stats out in to weight, not good for breeding at all.
Ark will never leave me
I never played with it 🤷