T O P
fx2009

Seems like it would chafe the nips


MycroFeline

Nips are gold-plated too.


Sweetyams10

I love goooold!


Isellmetal

“Save me from myself!”


Sinthetick

Pipe and a cripe?


Godfrey388

Bong and a blintz?


theslideistoohot

Shmoke and pancake?


Sirspalty

Cigar and a waffle?


BlackJeepW1

Flapjack and a cigarette?


ghandi3737

Hookah and hotcakes?


Drpoofn

I see there is no pleasing you.


Ok_Yogurtcloset1324

The taste of if, the smell of it, the texture of it


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Any-Pineapple9633

And the scrote? If he only went nips and no scrote then he a faker and not really a playa.


organicogrr

Goldmember wants to know your location


FknRepunsel

And get really hot, imagine wearing a metal shirt on a summer day


CanuckCharlie85

This guy is asking to get robbed.


sir-nigel-dickbutt

How to attract white utility vans 101.


50_61S-----165_97E

Step 1. Be child alone on the street


Cmmander_WooHoo

Step 2: be wearing a $200,000 gold shirt or just realllly in love with candy


Friendly_Crab

Gona try this two step program, seems simple enough


Fine-Bed

Putting my kid on the street, he loves candy from strangers


Hazeden420

How do I find the children wearing $200,000 gold shirts? just feel like they'd be easier to beat and rob.


shlompinyourmom

I shouldn't have laughed, but I did. I hate you for making me laugh at something so very terrible.


RemyTaveras

I'm sure with that kind of money on his person he has security with him


TIME______TRAVELER

Yes. The person behind him with a black shirt is his bodyguard


Bretty_boy

Thats actually pure onyx


Put_It_All_On_Blck

Nope. Its actually a shirt dyed with printer ink. The guy in the gold shirt is his body guard.


DINKY_DICK_DAVE

So he's the whole who drained the yellow toner and now my black and white document won't print...


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FloinnDuskwood

Yeah, he actually got killed over it. Edit: that was the other gold shirt Indian guy, Dattatrey D. Phuge.


Rococo_Modern_Life

[His Wikipedia is killing me](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Datta_Phuge). The table of contents goes: 1) Career 2) Gold Shirt 3) Death 4) References


PM_ME_CUTE_SMILES_

Murdered on his birthday nonetheless. The killers had to be pretty damn close to him, he thought they were bringing him to his birthday party.


Bearman71

One of them was his nephew.


Prudent_Armadillo822

That's really fucked up.


BeautifulType

His son literally was a witness and he testified they all knew him. Crazy how 3 got away too


BowelTheMovement

He must have been a terrible guy to them. Like instead of pitching in to help pay for surgery to save his sister's life because he had to buy a gold shirt kind of terrible.


iCon3000

Absolutely. Like they brought a whole mini-army plus an armory with them to the beating. Sure, you can contract family to kill someone for you, but I'm sure it wasn't in the contract that they had to use 15 different instruments of death to do it. This was personal af.


Simivy-Pip

(Opens the armory safe door. ‘Let’s see here, we need a sickle, and… ah, yes, grab maybe three or so of those boulders. Oh, I guess let’s take the sword and these knives too. Anything else? Actually let’s bring the rod as well. Okay, good to go.’)


XFataMorganaX

Holy crap, the way the Wikipedia describes his murder sounds like a bad comedy skit...


cloudjianrider

And then they beat him with sickles and then they beat him with rods and finally they beat him with boulders


big_duo3674

>I just love gold. Gold has always been my passion since a young age. I've always worn gold as jewellery in the form of bracelets, rings, chains Rumor has it that in his 20's he lost his most cherished body part in an unfortunate smelting accident


us1838015

Golddingle


Incredulous_Toad

*I LOOVE GOOOOOOOOOLD*


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ddh85

Just how many gold shirt Indian guys keep showing up each month?!


dm_me_pasta_pics

Cut off one shirt and two more shall take its place.


DrSafariBoob

Hydraurum


Maxorus73

Fun fact, if mercury happened to be gold colored it would probably have been called that. The old name for mercury is hydrogyrum, from hydros (water) and argyrum (silver). I likely misspelled every single one of those words


SeanReillyEsq

Argyrum is an alcoholic spirit distilled from sugar-cane residues or molasses that makes you a bit fighty.


Less-Raspberry-6222

Great description.


toesinbloom

There will be a final boss


robvp

If I had a dime for every Indian gold shirt guy I've heard about, I'd have two dimes, which isn't much, but it's weird that it happened twice


Vulpes_Irae

If you had stopped focusing on dimes and robbed them instead, you’d have 2 gold shirts.


Rabbitknight

Man inflation is even hitting the doofenschmirtz quote. It used to be two nickles.


cmr333

Just the one, it's the same shirt but different people


EisteeCitrus

Its like with Dumbledores wand. You kill a person and it becomes yours


chickensmoker

I feel like two Indian gold shirt guys is at least three too many Indian gold shirt guys


KidzBop_Anonymous

Yea be your own you guys. Pick another element for your shirt. There’s already a gold shirt guy


Ralph-the-mouth

I heard he did… he was invited to a party and mugged when he showed up… at least the internet said at one point and I’m willing to spread it without checking


PenileSatan

Didnt he get killed?


FourFootedFurFox

No no no. I heard he's pregnant though, due in a few more months.


BrentarTiger

His wife was eaten by a turtle.


Pretend-Flower-1204

Congratulations to him!


je-suis-pauvre

Thanks 🙏


Minimum_Reference862

Ah yes I know about this! I can definitely back you up bro. I haven't checked either, but I can back you up - so here I am.


TappedIn2111

I heard it twice now. It is 100% true


ARCAxNINEv

Yeah, but the pants kind of negate the shirt, so he might be ok unless he gets some gold pantaloons


BigFatBananas

Not like the golden thong guy. That could walk without clothes and still nobody would want to touch that.


suugakusha

They're gonna steal the shirt off his back.


mOjzilla

There is a weird obsession regarding gold in India. We read daily about chains being snatch from women out shopping in market by someone on bike. Flaunting wealth seems to be hard-coded in humans but is specially worse over here . People will buy iphones incurring debts just to show off as being rich , makes no sense .


apathy-sofa

*Me, looking up and down the street in my middle income neighboring*: new Audi, lifted Ram pickup, Tesla, Tesla. Mostly it's older but well maintained Toyotas, Subarus, minivans, Hondas, Kias - regular, modest vehicles - but there's definitely people going in to debt for appearances here too. Cars instead of gold for this little slice of life stateside.


Boris-Lip

Two questions. Why? And how does he wash it?


Keyrat000

One time use, melted down and made into toilet for his solid gold yacht.


manondorf

are you suggesting he use (gasp) recycled metal? Surely not, this will be thrown away and fresh new gold brought in for that purpose.


pnwWaiter

That all being said: gold is almost certainly too heavy to be used on any boat for things aside from gold leaf for decoration


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lilyhealslut

Brave of you to assume anyone on Reddit is under 45kg


Messgrey

Put a child in the golden boat.


Darkassassin07

Maybe I wanted to float a baby out to sea in a massive gold sphere...


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OneArchedEyebrow

Does anyone else look at extravagances like this and think, there are millions without enough to eat, but someone decides the need a golden yacht? My brain can’t comprehend the disparity.


almisami

The problem seems to be a distinct lack of guillotines ever since 1799...


Caedes1

Just about every normal human should be appalled by this kind of thing. But the people that can afford and want to have golden everything aren't normal. They want absurd displays of wealth, even when it's impractical or just looks.. tacky. Like a Gucci belt, it's pointlessly expensive but it's a status symbol. The super wealthy know there's people starving and suffering in poverty because most of them make their billions from exploitation. If the billionaire owner of that yacht was told exactly how many people could be fed, homed, treated, etc with the money it cost to make it, they would simply ask for a golden statue to be placed on the front.


CosmicCreeperz

Making a toilet out of it is for peasants. Weave it into toilet paper.


bugxbuster

Use molten gold in a bidet


EnIdiot

Gold is anti-microbial. Maybe it stays fresh by itself.


TheRevolutionaryArmy

Nothing can beat a stinky armpit, not even Gold


Calculonx

He takes daily Golden showers.


D__Litt

urine trouble for that joke


MrFantasticallyNerdy

I thought that was silver.


OrderOfMagnitude

Both are


the_buckman_bandit

Great, i have to buy a gold *and* silver shirt now? I just heard about this self cleaning material and i gotta be honest, it is getting real expensive in a hurry


hanimal16

Think of all the laundry soap you’ll save though!


HODLOnForOneMoreDay

It will pay for itself before the Sun engulfs the Earth. How could anyone argue against the numbers?


Radamat

Gold shirt and silver tank. You know that white which powerlifters are sometimes wearing.


spacey007

Many metals are. So is copper.


CWBtheThird

Copper shirts are for plebes. My man, the bandit, has too much class for that.


Griselbeard

Lots of metals are. It's also one of the reasons you'll see brass plates or handles on bathroom doors.


hahaimpooping

Maybe it’s maybelline


cyfer04

Hmm. Could be because he's worth it.


imnotatreeyet

Or because he was born with it?


OakParkCooperative

We used to have gold threaded pajamas when working in hyperbaric chambers The chambers were filled with 100% oxygen and they didn’t want static to blow up the building. This guy is probably on his way for a hyperbaric treatment.


Exam_Adorable

Hyperbolic you said!? ![gif](giphy|TbYgHMnICI1A4)


Alrighhty

Hypertonic lion tamer


aberdoom

Genuinely curious, what sort of hyperbaric chamber runs with 100% oxygen? I’ve worked around/close to diving chambers on ships and they invariably use Helios or Nitrox.


OakParkCooperative

Air Force research labs The original hyperbaric chambers used for the space shuttle program. You can sit in a pressurized chamber with a mask that delivers 100% oxygen but these chambers fill the entire room with 100% oxygen. There was a major mishap -A kid was receiving hyperbaric treatment and apparently snuck in one of those old school toys where you press it…. And it shoots out sparks…. In a multi room chamber of pressurized, 100% oxygen. Shortly after this disaster, (I think) it was Apollo 1 that blew up in the same manner…


aberdoom

Thanks for the info, super interesting. Sounds like a bad day for the kid…


Glabstaxks

Yeah that's the ticket


unassumingbison

Soap and water, duh


Boris-Lip

Machine washable? ;-)


hondatek

Golden shower


WernPie

Looking like a piece of stepped on Velveeta


StarGraz3r84

Homie up there looking like a busted ass kraft singles


LuwiBaton

It’s to distract from his hairy weird shaped arms


igneousink

the swelling in the wrist area, esp. on the left, is indicative of a serious circulatory issue so i hope he has named an heir for that stupid shirt


InflamedLiver

When you got more money than taste


Quick_Team

Aye, Right? Besides, I knew a lad who had a shirt of Mithril. Wee fella but good with a sword. Well, it was more of a letter opener, really. That was what me cousin called it. Ahhh me cousin. Should pass through and visit him. He would surely give a royal welcome


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|WNwErIxqX18xmm92UX)


ddh85

They called it a mine. A mine!


handsomehares

*and so begins yet another journey through the 6 bluray discs that is the LOTR*


DoctorRuckusMD

Your cousin’s hall is no mine… it’s a tomb


Awasawa

You said Mithril and I thought RuneScape. Would have been a pleasant surprise. But LOTR is also a pleasant surprise.


bionicmoonman

God I need to get back into OSRS…..


throwyourticketsaway

I fulfilled the nostalgia by just watching people stream it a bit. Man I was addicted to that damn game.


justtheonetat

Thanks for making me think of salted pork and malt beer


TimeZarg

Rrrripe meat off the bone!


Brokenwave89

I like it, I'd pay $21.10 for it


onebadcamino

Tree fiddy


ADOUGH209

![gif](giphy|3o85xHi4t2UsuIY9QA)


Giraffe-man_

20$ more than what I'd pay


Wander80

All that money and it still looks like shit.


ThunderboltRam

You shouldn't bother trying to outdo [Real OG Golden armor crafting of ~~Charlemagne~~](https://live.staticflickr.com/3455/3794554410_009febdc9a_b.jpg)...[Henry II of France](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parade_Armour_of_Henry_II_of_France) (I think I confused with Charlemagne golden bust maybe, but Google misled me)


SirSpaceFace

They didn't have that type of armor during the time of Charlemagne.


Aggressive-Ad-3143

16th century


EazyParise

I wish we still wore plate armor. It was so cool EDIT: Update for you all. I found/joined a medieval theater troupe in my area. After training will come plate mail. It will be glorious


UnsavoryBoy

What’s stopping you? You only get one life!


DJSeku

Law enforcement. Having only the one life is sorta correlated.


UnsavoryBoy

It’s not illegal to grocery shop in full plate armor


DJSeku

I never said it was illegal, [it’s just not generally approved by management.](https://youtu.be/HUbKxVlA_0M)


Sneedclave_Trooper

Man watching that pissed me off, so many cops are just on a power trip their whole shift acting like they’re above fellow citizens. The guy they stopped was nothing but cooperative and they treated him terribly.


HarmonyQuinn1618

Absolute bullshit [he lost his lawsuit](https://www.gvnews.com/news/spd-officers-off-the-hook-in-2019-walmart-arrest/article_50f2d90c-b6cd-11ec-9c5c-6fb5f05816dd.html) for not “notifying the officers *individually* of his claim”. The police get to completely abuse the justice system in every possible way. In a normal lawsuit, the fucking police or a lawyer notifies the defendant, there should be zero reason you should have to notify the police *individually* that you’re suing them. What a nice little loophole for them.


Gallowboobsthrowaway

It's always infuriating to me watching grown men have temper tantrums about the most benign shit... This could have been easily solved without any police involvement. "Do you have a receipt for your purchases?" "Yeah. Here." "Looks like he wasn't shoplifting. Would you please make sure not to come in here with a helmet on again?" "Yeah, totally!" "Alright, everyone have a nice day." But the store manager didn't like having his authority challenged, and the police didn't like someone standing up for themselves, so neither of those parties were going to stop unless he completely rolled over and just took it. Good for him standing up for himself, I hope he gets a nice settlement.


randomradomski

How are they gonna stop you when you're fully armored?


tfl_77

Still can, even bellbottoms and tight pants are back in..


Short_Fun9155

A stove pipe hats


scelerat

Charlemagne died centuries before plate armor like this existed.


legogiant

That isn't Charlemagne's armor. That armor was the [ceremonial armor of Henry II of France](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parade_Armour_of_Henry_II_of_France)


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Parade Armour of Henry II of France](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parade_Armour_of_Henry_II_of_France)** >The Parade Armour of Henry II of France, now in Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, is believed to date from c 1553–55 and its decoration is attributed to the French goldsmith and engraver Étienne Delaune. Designed for use in pageantry, the armour was fashioned of gold, silver and steel and with leather and red velvet trimmings. It was created for Henry II of France as ceremonial wear; the figures embossed on the breastplate and back are intended to reflect his military achievements. There are 20 surviving mid-sixteenth drawings, thought to be by Delaune, used for sketching the original design. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


RN-Wingman

The cut is all wrong.


CosmicBlur311

And uncomfortable.


Itchy_Professor_4133

Isn't that usually how it goes with tons of gold on anything fashion wise? Super tacky.


Luissmb

My thoughts. There are much better ways to spend the money IMO. Even if you have a lot and don't know what to do with it.


gitoutmeswamp

Stinks like shit too after a while I imagine


aSmallIndieCompany

I don't think gold is a good surface for germs to grow so it should be fine tbh


n3w4cc01_1nt

silver would be better. he could disinfect entire kiddie pools in 20 mins


AMViquel

Yes, but silver is also much cheaper and might lead people to think you can't even afford gold shirts.


Shr1mpandgrits

A silver shirt of the same weight would cost $2356


CosmicCreeperz

Think it’s dry clean only?


Lumpy_Scientist_3839

Naw he washes it with everything else, so all his clothes are gold tinted


overzeetop

And his washing machine looks like a bottle of Goldschläger


[deleted]

I think gold is antiseptic so would be good to go with with rinse


Charming-Ad4156

All those tiny chains woven together…I bet this shirt rips out body hair like an epilady.


WickedlyWitchyWoman

Actually, it's probably made of fibers coated in gold. That's how gold threads are made. You can even see the stitching. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloth\_of\_gold


FittersGuy

Are you telling me that the title on reddit lied to me then?


T-J_H

No way, that never happens here


Revolvyerom

Man, in a fit of epic nerd-dom, in my teens I crafted a box chain-mail choker for my girlfriend out of German silver, fine wire, tiny loops...I mean, it *looked* good. It apparently served excellently as an epilator when worn. I can only *imagine* what a man as hairy as he is must feel with every step...


plethorial

Teen you had much better taste IMHO. Chain-mail anything would be much cooler.


EtgBobitto

And I'm assuming dude in the back is probably his bodyguard? Or I hope so at least...


Puzzleheaded_Fix3135

Either is his body guard or someone about to get a free new gold shirt.


waldosandieg0

Shirts gonna get passed from arsehole to arsehole like the Elder Wand.


CosmicCreeperz

Or armpit to armpit.


Elowan66

Bracelet looks like a car engine part.


fowlertime

Dude looks like he owns half of the Indian police squad. Those are totally armed guards.


Shot-Location-474

![gif](giphy|lOiJqCjiEOcmc)


GoldPenis

yes


bokchoysoyboy

Lmfao user name checks out


juaninazio

The coat does not make the monk.


notacatlawyer

Isn’t gold super heavy? I’m surprised that 4kg of gold is enough to make a shirt


Needmoresnakes

Solid gold is heavy but it's also very soft and can be flattened into insanely fine sheets so if you made a type of "thread" or even like a chain mail sort of deal with thin enough loops I think you could get it relatively light.


UserNombresBeHard

> and can be flattened into insanely fine sheets Yes, yes it can. You actually carry "insanely fine sheets" of gold every day with you on your electronics.


sparhawk817

Yeah but half of that is electroplated and the other half is reflowed, it's not hammered or drawn through a die or something. Source: I work in semiconductor manufacturing.


in_u_endo______

Can't buy class


super-me-5000

About as practical as a solid gold swimsuit


FeweF8

I believe he was later mugged and killed over this shirt


jesteffens

Think that was another guy with a different gold shirt…. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Datta_Phuge


Wooden-Lake-5790

The guy in the article wasn't killed over the shirt. It seems like it was an assassination over other financial disputes.


Hunigsbase

I think "shirt made of gold" and "financial disputes" tend to go hand in hand.


Hungry4Fruit

I mean if he owed me money and was walking around in a 200k shirt, I'd want to kill him also.


Soham_rak

Oh that was another guy I remember the story vividly bcuz I live 5km away from there So he wasnt killed for the gold shiry. he was running a chitfund scam and didnt split the money between his coconspirators So on his sons birthday they lured him out alone and killed him with a rock to his head They were caught by the police and since the chit fund scam was fully open the gold shirt was seized and used yo repay the people who were scammed


JinxAndTheJester

The cost of insecurities


Lazy_Fish7737

Sounds heavy hot sweaty and uncomfortable. imagine paying that much to look cool and going around uncomfortable all day. Pluss you stick out like a sore thumb and look like an idiot and risk being mugged literaly for the shirt off your back. I'll just take my uber soft and comfy thrift store t shirt and chill thank you very much. Even if I had that kind of money I wouldnt. This is just freaking stupid.


Tiny_Teach_5466

Right? Like who are you trying to impress dude? Muggers? I occasionally buy Dollar Store shirts. They are factory "rejects" from Gildan. They're so comfy!


mud_tug

Actually it may not be sweaty at all. Due to gold's excellent thermal conductivity and increased surface area it may feel positively chilly.


GlassturtleOG

He just looks like someone that needs their ass kicked


friedpickleguy

Good thing he didn't waste that money feeding the hungry or something trivial.


Minute_Bluebird2557

Would feed a family for what, 10 years? Makes me angry.


CosmicCreeperz

In India?? $200k would feed a small town for 10 years.


TallBookWitch

If you want to destroy my sweater pull this thread as I walk away.... Weezer