Planet Express Ship: Bender, don't lie! I saw you at Elzar's with those two ladies of the evening. Explain that!
Bender: OK, I like a challenge. [muttering] No ... no. [talking] Ah, I got it! I'm going to be completely honest with you, Planet Express Ship. Those women you saw me with ... were my accountants.
Planet Express Ship: Your accountants? Oh, I would dearly love to believe that were true. So I do.
Bender: Phew!
Planet Express Ship: I'm gonna go home and get dinner started.
There was a time on the internet when there were just a handful of memes.
Long before there was a viral video every other day, we had crying wrestling guy, sneezing panda and dancing baby.
Hm?
Wrestling is "fake", it's an organized fight show with predetermined story, characters, victors, losers, etc..
A while ago there was a... sentiment? to point out that "you know it's fake right?"
And the thing is that even though the show may be fake, the stunts, injuries and passion and dedication of everyone involved are real. Maybe it's not Shakespeare but that's no reason to look down on it or anyone.
And this guy just felt really moved by someone else on a stage saying something like that? I don't know.
>And the thing is that even though the show may be fake, the stunts, injuries and passion and dedication of everyone involved are real.
Damn, I thought they had cutting edge CGI.
It was also a time where wrestling stopped pretending it was real. It’s not even that they lied. People would have debate on if it was real or not and wrestling just didn’t say anything. So they finally just said, it’s not real through different outlets.
Hence the “it’s still *real* to me damnit* comment.
As a wrestling fan that guy was both comical and extremely endearing.
No. There's a hundred reasons why this is bullshit, such as new dev lacking necessary insight into legacy code, likelyhood of being assigned exactly into the right team, being able to choose their ticket freely instead of following team backlog.
Love the idea though!
> new dev lacking necessary insight into legacy code
Some bugs just aren't that hard to fix. I've fixed bugs on my first day at a job. It doesn't even say it's his first *day*, just his first *thing*.
> likelyhood of being assigned exactly into the right team
If it's a small company, or even many midsize companies, there's a good chance there's only one team. I work at a ~60-person company and if you got hired, I already know what you'd be working on, because there's only one thing *to* work on.
> being able to choose their ticket freely instead of following team backlog.
A lot of companies (especially smaller ones!) leave some freedom for developers. And even if they supposedly don't, what are they going to do, watch his screen to make sure he's working on the right thing? Totally believable that he just went out on his own to fix his personal bugbear.
Yeees! Thank you. This to the letter, just cause that's what he worked on doesn't mean it was on his first day nor does it mean they watched over his shoulder. Not to mention we devs are petty as hell xD. 100% something the most of us would do
Yeah I have *absolutely* spent significant time fixing something just because it was bugging me :D
I haven't *literally gotten a job for it*, that's beyond even me, but I understand the draw.
Yeah, I work for a small software company. Less than 20 employees total. If we hired you, everyone here will know what you're working on because it's the same shit we work on.
I tried this. I went from warehouse employee to programmer in my company. Once I got the hang of things, I figured out the location in the software that should beep but didn't. When I couldn't figure it out I asked a senior developer for help. It turns out that because the specific module is written in C we cannot get the scanner to beep.
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He had probably complained about it before too, and even told them how to fix it but their service wasnt so good so he had to take drastic action. It does make me wonder what his other job is he just has so long to get a new one then go back to making money in the same old way?
A lot of IT professionals are working multiple jobs now with more work from home opportunities in the pandemic. If true this guy could have just done this for a larf while still working his main gig, or even just booked some vacation time. Just the story would be worth it, but 2 weeks pay for a day's work ain't bad
Cause the entire US economy to collapse with reckless or entirely made up financial mechanisms? *US government sleeps*
Shave off a fraction of a penny from compounded interest off of corporate profits? *Real shit*
According to the Multiverse Theory, the possibility of there being a universe where he planted a virus into the software of the system is not only feasible, it can outright be perfectly explained. This unnamed person's virus would very likely Cause minut to irreversible damage to your account if you were to live in the same universe.
Happens all the time...even with large bugs.
I suspected there was a bug in a service once that was causing the service to outright crash. So I started trying to crash it intentionally and within 10 minutes, lo and behold, the service stops responding.
It was open source so I then got a copy of the code, sent it my crash inducing payload, and sure enough...it crashed.
The issue...it was sorting an array of stuff, but if you asked it for data it didn't have, the sort would crash because it didn't receive an array.
I then fixed that bug, fixed another, then wrapped all the service calls in try / catch blocks so any bugs that might still exist would just throw errors instead of crashing the server.
I then added some performance enhancements that increased response times by 200% - 600%.
It hasn't crashed since and it's way faster. The maintainer still contacts me now and then about things regarding that project lol
I mean, every single version of Windows is littered with more bugs than an Alabama swamp at release, and it takes a good 2-3 year (if ever, Vista) period to make it usable
Reminds me of a guy that got a job at Comcast and went through the training because it was faster than getting them to come to his house and fix his problem.
If you want something done right...
You have to do it yourself.
Ironic
it's not a story the programmers would tell you
It’s a customer legend
This is why I applied to be a tech for xfinity. It was way faster and easier than having to wait on hold for 39 years.
Do yourself
Give it to your mom.... I mean, do it yourself like an adult person
I gave it to your mom...
I am it
^Therefore, he is a dick.
wheter urban legend or not, this makes me smile all the times i read it.
It’s true (source: I was the bug)
Idk why, but i believe you.
Trust me it's true and this guy isn't lying. Source: I was the 2 weeks notice
It’s true. Source: I was the sigh of relief
It’s true(source:I am the one who bugged it)
/) It's true (Source: I can't think of anything else to claim to be besides the people, so I'm god.)
It's on the internet! It must be true!
The elders of the internet have spoken of this...
Shows up Neuters a random redditor Refuses to elaborate Leaves. Chadherowedeserve.gif
“I’m skeptical…” *”Don’t be.”* “Well now I’m convinced!”
Planet Express Ship: Bender, don't lie! I saw you at Elzar's with those two ladies of the evening. Explain that! Bender: OK, I like a challenge. [muttering] No ... no. [talking] Ah, I got it! I'm going to be completely honest with you, Planet Express Ship. Those women you saw me with ... were my accountants. Planet Express Ship: Your accountants? Oh, I would dearly love to believe that were true. So I do. Bender: Phew! Planet Express Ship: I'm gonna go home and get dinner started.
I mean, does anyone actually believe this is a true story? lol
I fuckin do mate
It's still [real](https://youtu.be/jKECiyIsq3I) to me damnit!
Woah! Im gonna need the backstory here
There was a time on the internet when there were just a handful of memes. Long before there was a viral video every other day, we had crying wrestling guy, sneezing panda and dancing baby.
Hm? Wrestling is "fake", it's an organized fight show with predetermined story, characters, victors, losers, etc.. A while ago there was a... sentiment? to point out that "you know it's fake right?" And the thing is that even though the show may be fake, the stunts, injuries and passion and dedication of everyone involved are real. Maybe it's not Shakespeare but that's no reason to look down on it or anyone. And this guy just felt really moved by someone else on a stage saying something like that? I don't know.
>And the thing is that even though the show may be fake, the stunts, injuries and passion and dedication of everyone involved are real. Damn, I thought they had cutting edge CGI. 
It was also a time where wrestling stopped pretending it was real. It’s not even that they lied. People would have debate on if it was real or not and wrestling just didn’t say anything. So they finally just said, it’s not real through different outlets. Hence the “it’s still *real* to me damnit* comment. As a wrestling fan that guy was both comical and extremely endearing.
Holy shit! embaums world. That’s some old internet there
That's why we love ya
Yep. (Dev here)
No. There's a hundred reasons why this is bullshit, such as new dev lacking necessary insight into legacy code, likelyhood of being assigned exactly into the right team, being able to choose their ticket freely instead of following team backlog. Love the idea though!
> new dev lacking necessary insight into legacy code Some bugs just aren't that hard to fix. I've fixed bugs on my first day at a job. It doesn't even say it's his first *day*, just his first *thing*. > likelyhood of being assigned exactly into the right team If it's a small company, or even many midsize companies, there's a good chance there's only one team. I work at a ~60-person company and if you got hired, I already know what you'd be working on, because there's only one thing *to* work on. > being able to choose their ticket freely instead of following team backlog. A lot of companies (especially smaller ones!) leave some freedom for developers. And even if they supposedly don't, what are they going to do, watch his screen to make sure he's working on the right thing? Totally believable that he just went out on his own to fix his personal bugbear.
Yeah I think this story is plausible. But absent proof I will assume it's fake
Yeees! Thank you. This to the letter, just cause that's what he worked on doesn't mean it was on his first day nor does it mean they watched over his shoulder. Not to mention we devs are petty as hell xD. 100% something the most of us would do
Yeah I have *absolutely* spent significant time fixing something just because it was bugging me :D I haven't *literally gotten a job for it*, that's beyond even me, but I understand the draw.
Yeah, I work for a small software company. Less than 20 employees total. If we hired you, everyone here will know what you're working on because it's the same shit we work on.
All of the reasons you listed are playsible lol.
Might even be a rural legend for us living in the sticks
I tried this. I went from warehouse employee to programmer in my company. Once I got the hang of things, I figured out the location in the software that should beep but didn't. When I couldn't figure it out I asked a senior developer for help. It turns out that because the specific module is written in C we cannot get the scanner to beep.
Sounds like a hero.
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Not all hero’s wear capes.
Maybe he wore a cape while doing it
NO CAPES!
Company policy. Long story short, it was because of Andrew.
fucking Andrew!
Hey!! Don’t blame me for this!
You know what you did Andrew don't hide it
That's it. I quit.
ALL CAPS
Not all wear cape heroes.
Not all capes wear heroes
Not capes wear all heroes
Reddit, stop doing this
Stop doing this, reddit
Doing stop reddit this.
No
All heroes wear underwear
Mostly as a statement piece. Over their suit
*heroes
Sorry. Couldn’t ignore Apple’s red squiggles, despite feeling like it was wrong
But nearly all wear spandex
Not all heroes spell-check either.
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Number 5 is alive!
Need input
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He did it for an hourly rate instead of a consultant fee, which may have been more than even 2 weeks base pay, so yeah
He had probably complained about it before too, and even told them how to fix it but their service wasnt so good so he had to take drastic action. It does make me wonder what his other job is he just has so long to get a new one then go back to making money in the same old way?
A lot of IT professionals are working multiple jobs now with more work from home opportunities in the pandemic. If true this guy could have just done this for a larf while still working his main gig, or even just booked some vacation time. Just the story would be worth it, but 2 weeks pay for a day's work ain't bad
Fair one, if he was freelance or a contractor it would have been even easier for him.
I best he just took leave from his main job and got this gig to fix that bug...
It must have really been getting to him!
He probably just took leave or used up all his vacation days
*Fine, I'll do it myself.*
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A gentleman and a scholar
Legend
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TheLegend27??
"Who's TheLegend27?"
u/TheLegend27
\-wait for it-
...dary. Legendary
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Good bot
I’m a human, silly goose! \*bleep bloop\* errr, I mean, uh... cheers mate!
The hero we all want to be.
dude there have been like 15 bots in this thread. I’ve gotten them down to the last one lmao
this is so true, hate the bots
This is exactly what came to my mind after reading this!
F
halF
First thought
>*sigh* you always gotta do shit yourself
Possibly planted a virus along the way and will be draining your accounts any time now :)
No, it doesn’t drain the accounts, it just shaves off the fractions of a cent left over from any computed interest.
Just don’t miss the decimal place.
It’s hard to pay attention to the details when ur drowning in TPS reports
At least he has his stapler.
Yeah, we're gonna need that stapler
It's a "Jump to Conclusions" mat! You see, you have this mat, with different CONCLUSIONS written on it that you could JUMP TO!
That idea just gave me a case of the Mondays.
What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Shit, I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail…
This isn't some mundane detail Michael!
Eh. That's just a mundane detail.
Gotta be careful, you can end up in Federal "Pound Me In The Ass" Prison for that.
Cause the entire US economy to collapse with reckless or entirely made up financial mechanisms? *US government sleeps* Shave off a fraction of a penny from compounded interest off of corporate profits? *Real shit*
Man im studying accounting in college and this shit scares me. Like imagine a guy making 1 small typo and he ends up in prison for that lmao
Like Superman 3?
Richard Pryor says hi
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Definitely in the realm of possibility, he could have seeded a virus that could sabotage your accounts in short notice
According to the Multiverse Theory, the possibility of there being a universe where he planted a virus into the software of the system is not only feasible, it can outright be perfectly explained. This unnamed person's virus would very likely Cause minut to irreversible damage to your account if you were to live in the same universe.
lol this is definitely a bot account
How do you infect a virus?
When you go to 7-11, you take pennies out of the little tray right? No that's the jar. I mean the tray....
A man of commitment and
sheep fucking will.
You forgot focus.
A man…with a pencil
A fokin' Pencil
He forgor
💀
Focus
Not the sheeps again.
Not will! That’s the fifth time this week!
As a Welshman I can confirm
Poor will
He just can't get any rest after the slapping.
It's an [april fools joke](https://twitter.com/swaglord__420/status/1377051721655066629) from last year, sadly. The "bugfix" was commited on Mar 32.
I remember this was an old story that was never proven true but much longer than was shown here
I feel like I heard this joke dozens of times already and it definitely did start before last year.
I saw this meme story about 8 years ago. It's a rinse repeat for some social media cred.
Lol 33 commits to change the year in the footer
sigma male
Sig ma nuts
really embodies the "my job here is done"
I love the fact that a recognizable and easy to fix bug was let be by developers for no reason untill a user took the matter into his hands
Happens all the time...even with large bugs. I suspected there was a bug in a service once that was causing the service to outright crash. So I started trying to crash it intentionally and within 10 minutes, lo and behold, the service stops responding. It was open source so I then got a copy of the code, sent it my crash inducing payload, and sure enough...it crashed. The issue...it was sorting an array of stuff, but if you asked it for data it didn't have, the sort would crash because it didn't receive an array. I then fixed that bug, fixed another, then wrapped all the service calls in try / catch blocks so any bugs that might still exist would just throw errors instead of crashing the server. I then added some performance enhancements that increased response times by 200% - 600%. It hasn't crashed since and it's way faster. The maintainer still contacts me now and then about things regarding that project lol
I mean, every single version of Windows is littered with more bugs than an Alabama swamp at release, and it takes a good 2-3 year (if ever, Vista) period to make it usable
>new guy get hired >fixed a bug that been bugging him >doesn’t explain >leaves
HR should get him to stay, sounds like he needs to go to Microsoft and fix that damn Excel Clipboard bug.
If you want something done, you gotta do it yourself.
That’s the best story I’ve ever heard. Dude got the job just to fix the dumb ass shit that’s been bothering him as a user. Epic
Totally a hero. Maybe not the one we deserve, but the one we need for sure.
Why does anyone give two weeks notice?! Just *quit*.
Don't know where you live but in most countries there're laws and stuff for termination periods etc.
Also it's not good for your next job, as they will see it as lack of professionalism
"Fine; I'll do it myself."
Gotta do this with Bethesda
I will take "Things that never happened" for 500, Alex.
>stolen tweet posted by an NFT owner Gross.
Job done, nothing more, nothing less
"Fine, ill do it myself."
Big brain energy.
That post is fake, right? I have read about that news like a couple years ago.
Yeah it's fake, it's an old joke Worst part about the post is the hexagon nft profile picture lol unless they're faking that too
Fucking baller move right there.
r/MadLad
This is the way.
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bot?
Yeah bot. Easy to tell from name and you can find the comment elsewhere
100%. so many in this thread. i feel like im on subredditsimulator
Lumon thanks you for your service.
Because he's the hero your company deserves, but not the one it needs right now.
You got it backwards 🗿
r/programmerhumor would like this
probably been posted there 100 times
That's doing Flying Spaghetti Monster's work. All praise the marinara.
/r/madlads
Want something done right? Do it yourself.
Going into the belly of the beast
Probably still faster than customer service
Hold my beer
He saw that company was run like garbage and got the fuck out.
Probably not a true story but a good one.
He came for ONE job.
If you’re good at something, never do it for free
I aspire to do this with Reddit's video player...
Great, now go work for 343i
Legend
how tf is this a holup in the slightest
Reminds me of a guy that got a job at Comcast and went through the training because it was faster than getting them to come to his house and fix his problem.
 I'll do it myself