T O P

Honestly what a good idea

Honestly what a good idea

ColonelAngus94

It's not gay it's a brojob


Oh_thats_gay

#


XevynAeght

Couldn't have said it any better


Incorrect-Opinion

It’s only gay if you cum.


jcelmer23

Just make sure you say “no homo” before


CaptainFoxJack

And criss cross your eyes too


markymark1324

Smack his ass and tell him “good game” afterwards so he knows he did a good job


FlixNinja

And don't forget about the firm handshake as you leave


Sarvagun_some_pun

and a couple of beers before leaving!


ohnoitsthefuzz

Extra eye contact


MiserableLow9749

Don't ever break eye contact


riesamee

And while you're hugging, slap him on the back multiple times, to non-verbally communicate that the two of you are just bros


RamsesTheGreat

“Good came”


MiserableLow9749

Should be "good cum"


RamsesTheGreat

I like how you decided that for me we should hang out what’s ur number


JesustheSpaceCowboy

[who doesn’t love a little Slap-Ass](https://youtu.be/9Mlp_Gcc_5Q)


mackay85

Thlap atthhh


ranger-nate

Time flies when you're having a good time


That_Extreme_2622

Bruh love ur username


savannah22k9

It’s gone now lol


opserioul

Lol that's the best xD


Cuttyflame123

Actually, saying no homo acknowledges that whatever is happening is inherently gay by default, which means it’s gay, no matter whether you want it or not. If you don’t acknowledge that gayness, then there’s room for there to be a possibility to be straight. Here’s how I determine whether something is gay or not. 1. If you’re wearing socks or not. No socks is automatically gay, because foot stuff is weird 2. Whether the tips are touching or not. As long as the tips don’t touch, it’s not gay 3. Whether you say no homo or not. Don’t say it, it makes things gay 4. Whether or not you kiss your homies goodnight. If you don’t kiss your homies goodnight, then you’re being homophobic, denying that you could be gay, and we all know what denial means As for me? I’m gay as all hell, but I created this guide to staying straight cuz I gotta keep an eye out for my straight homies out there


Zeraf370

Ah yes, laws of relative straightness.


neuromancertr

I smell a Nobel here.


MvmgUQBd

Oh, sorry about that


OhInATightSpot

Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly 😄


AsscrackDinosaur

Who said he couldn't ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


PleasantTaste4953

I tell my male friends that all the time. I just say "Get your fat rear out of the way" That counts right?


Tom1380

Spittin' facts here


Dave639

Straight facts


justakidwithahat

Gay Facts


Kash-Acous

Bi facts


pikadude1228

Car Fax


IcebergSlimFast

Guy Fawkes


i_use_this_for_work

So really, it's just "everything is straight if you wear socks, kiss your homies goodnight, and don't say no homo"?


Typical_Stomach

Exactly


tokkoking

So let me get this right. If you don’t acknowledge the gayness then it’s ok to bang an femboy


Melodic-Arm-1651

It's definitely not gay if their voice has a higher pitch. The femboys are for everyone to use.


PhoenixZephyrus

God can't see what happens in a bathroom, it's free real estate. Anything goes


HybridVeneer

Is that why everyone reddits in the bathroom?


OhInATightSpot

Exactly.


[deleted]

[удалено]


nelusbelus

Don't let the balls touch


scarredsquirrel

During a brojob? Honestly that would be impressive


RedditUser891246

It’s only gay if the balls touch


AliasWarHammer

This is the way.


FishFaceInOuterSpace

Wait, wasn't I supposed to say it AFTER? do I have the gay now?


D-J97

After, not before


tindersavior

It’s like a get out of jail free card


AvoidYellingSlurs

i find it really hard to cum from just a blowjob. when im giving one I mean.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HybridVeneer

Nothing. Keep going.


cinnamonrain

The cum is fine, just dont swallow and youre good to go


FWFT27

And he swallows


KEVIN_WALCH

CHOO CHOOOO


T--mae

Love playing pranks on my friends


Hungover_Pilot

Just because you take your trash out, doesn’t make you a garbage man


Bubomat

Brojob gay? Even relieving anal tension with a bro is perfectly fine. It's not gay to enjoy prostate stimulation by yourself and it is not gay to masturbate. It's no even gay to masturbate next to another bro. So, if you lend your butthole to a friend but he's thinking about a woman and you're just thinking like you're masturbating next to him but you're actually having less work because your bro is stimulating your prostate, then there's just no way it can be gay. Hell, even a reach around isn't gay because it's literally just lending a hand. All you're doing here is relieving some tension in a most practical way. And there's nothing gay about being practical. So as long you don't get an erection because you're actually thinking about a dude helping you with your prostate business, it's not gay. Afterall you would just be imagining a super hot chick with a massive strapon. And that's what really gets you hard, plus the pounding on your ass. By extension, a brojob is just a favor. The only enjoyment a straight dude has from sucking their bro's cock is that he is already anticipating the return. So as long as you don't cum from jerking off while sucking cock, it's not gay, it's just a price to pay to get your turn. A favor to a bro. And the reciprocity is totally what makes it bonding with a bro. You can deepthroat and swallow at the end because you also want full service when it's your turn. It's not even sexual when you're doing you're just happy to be helping a bro out and excited for your turn. Now if it's a really close bro you might even want to keep tabs. Like you blow him today and he'll blow you tomorrow. Or you can save a few turns for when youre really stressed so you'll blow your bro for a few weeks by keeping the gay out because you're keeping tabs. And eventually you'll even out. Now, as it was already stated, this is a bro only service. If you're doing this for strangers then it's just homo, because there's no expectation of tension relief reciprocity and you're just blowing dudes for fun cause you like it which makes it super gay.


cranialatrophy

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t able to read.


LydiasHorseBrush

I find that sandpaper to the eyes is a good fix


IAmYoDaddyDuh

Or bleach


ThusDiedFingolfin

Wow, turns out I've been straight this whole time!


BlindingRain

My thoughts exactly


BrutalistCupCake

Not gay. Classic transactional male sexuality.


GreatFuckingMaracas

This is the plot of a fanfiction of two guys realising they are, in fact, gay


aye-its-this-guy

The grey areas of gay


ChrystalMeds

Doing a double dutch rudder isn’t gay either.


CasualtyPulaski633B

Lots of rationalization going on here...


tindersavior

$20 is $20


Britney_Spearzz

*Choo choo*


daxatives-laxatives

It’s not gay if you keep your socks on


tindersavior

Valid point


Comedian03

"*He's not even ugly*" Ohhh well in that case...


dudegotscars

Wise Isabel


Hungboy6969420

My desperate and unfuckable friend needs some sex, asking in this manner is cool, right?


mukeshgates

If u are really his best friend, you'd give him one yourself...


tindersavior

How the turn tables


RepostSleuthBot

Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 8 times. First Seen [Here](https://redd.it/ciqk7h) on 2019-07-28 90.62% match. Last Seen [Here](https://redd.it/cj03u9) on 2019-07-28 90.62% match Feedback? Hate? Visit r/repostsleuthbot - *I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ [False Positive](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RepostSleuthBot&subject=False%20Positive&message={"post_id": "m4caj0", "meme_template": null}) ]* [View Search On repostsleuth.com](https://www.repostsleuth.com?postId=m4caj0&sameSub=false&filterOnlyOlder=true&memeFilter=true&filterDeadMatches=false&targetImageMatch=86&targetImageMemeMatch=96) --- **Scope:** Reddit | **Meme Filter:** False | **Target:** 86% | **Check Title:** False | **Max Age:** Unlimited | **Searched Images:** 209,234,993 | **Search Time:** 0.2891s


IdahoTrees77

Don’t know why you’d expect anything else from a bot account! Hey OP, fuck you!


Diogenes90

8 times smh


BidoofAlmighty

Even stole the damn caption. Smh. Fuck you OP


Johnny1723

No he didn’t. He capitalized it so it’s different. /s (just in case)


pillboxhat

Not everyone spends every waking moment on reddit. People who complain about repost are annoying. If you've seen it, down vote and move on. I've never seen it and thought it was funny.


TallDarkSwitch

Posting other people's shit for karma is fucking lame. Atleast give the original post credit. Or a bare minimum, the one you shamelessly cooped it from.


poopoobuttholes

Good fucking bot. Bad fucking OP.


MetallicYeet

Who gave the fucking bot an award


TallDarkSwitch

I did and I'll do it again!


whitestethoscope

Somehow I remember this being way older than 2019


DirtGoosePup

The OP deleted his account after posting 😂😂😂


electroshlong

to his words he is not even ugly i cant see no wrong with helping the homie out


ViolentlyIntoCocks

Yeah now come back n suck my glow in the dark strap on...


electroshlong

Yes dear


Impossible_Garbage_4

Username checks out


ViolentlyIntoCocks

Impossible garbage u too...


Jabooooooooooooo

its no gay, its homiesexual


lovebus

Do the homie!


AzirsEmperorsDivide

ok im stealing this one


bobbyzee

Sounds like something donkey Doug and pillboi would do


BearfangTheGamer

BOOOOORTLLLLLEEEESSSSSZ!


Oh_thats_gay

#


OcelotEric

If Dave was determined enough he'd suck his own dick


Death_By_Pun

Have you ever actually tried? I honestly think that not everyone is able to bend that far no matter how much they try. My upper spine was hurting for a week after I tried that. I'm not in support of damaging my bones. But at the same time, I know it's possible for some guys, because I've seen several porn videos of guys doing that.


jonjonesjohnson

This has come up before, i think there even was a post that straight up asked those who have tried and succeeded whether it feels like your dick is getting sucked or like you're sucking dick, and people always said it's the latter.


SeriousMonkey2019

Sounds like a win win situation to me.


PM_ME_YOUR_HUGE_HOG

Lots of dudes are into that though, including some who wouldn't think they are before trying it. It's generally better as a show for someone else than something you would do just to get off though.


raktoe

I would think it’s the same as jerking off feels like giving a hand job, but I can’t say I’ve had the pleasure of trying it out.


structured_anarchist

Because you don't have a penis?


raktoe

Yeah, not the best choice of words lol. I meant I hadn’t experienced the pleasure of a self bj or giving someone else a hj. I do in fact have a penis, disappointing as it may be.


[deleted]

[удалено]


OcelotEric

I mean it was a joke, and no bc I dont have a dick


DirtyPiss

If you were determined enough the lack of penis wouldn’t stop you.


OcelotEric

Username checks out


DirtyPiss

No one can say I lack determination... or regrets :(


QuarantineSucksALot

That's a true king right there, watching out for the homies.


Artyloo

I've seen women um, doing it to themselves. It's possible even without that particular appendage.


Josh6889

No wonder you can't do it.


OcelotEric

Maybe I could try with a strap on...🤔


tendimensions

I'm so sorry.


OcelotEric

Its okay, mines plastic and is never not hard :)))


shorepheus

I managed to lick the tip once but this was 8 years ago. I can lick the foreskin if I stretch it far enough but not without hurting my neck,same with the sack


dirtyjazzhands

You can stretch your sack far enough to lick it? Cool.


Zehdari

It’s possible, you just need a long enough dick. Source: 😎


turtlelevelslow

This was unfortunately what I had to resort to in my 20’s and never getting laid for those 10 years. It was a sad, depressing, confusing but oddly exciting? Time.


netheroth

Glad to see you kept your options flexible.


hateme_ifyouwant

This is why god invented hookers. They need cash, I need my life set straight. Win win if you ask me.


ElephantInTheForest

I did it. It was pretty disappointing. It felt much less like getting your dick sucked and much more like sucking your thumb. Didn’t even cum, 1/10 wouldn’t recommend.


sofuckinggreat

r/autofellatio


OcelotEric

Oh, um, no thank you


sofuckinggreat

Come on, Dave


Efficient_Option6791

What the fuck. Didn't actually think this was possible.


has2give

I saw that, subreddit? I think that's what they are called, I was horrified, and kinda amazed, mostly horrified. I didn't know that existed. It does, and anyone can see it. You cannot unsee it, but you can definitely see it. If your insane. Maybe I looked because I was drunk? (I wasn't cuz I don't drink) Idk, now I know.


afistfulofyen

r/autofellatio *has entered the chat* (They aren't able to say anything tho)


tdempsey33

I read streak as steak and was really confused. Three times. I though it was slang I was unfamiliar with.


structured_anarchist

You've heard of 'Steak & Blowjob Night', right? Sometimes you need to complete the circle of disappointment. A dry steak and an unenthusiastic blowjob...


tdempsey33

Instructions unclear. Dick stuck in steak.


structured_anarchist

Carefully extract penis from steak. Do not, **repeat**, do not use a knife to do so. Report back as necessary


IReallyDontCareDude1

Uno reverse card


Sashimiroll16

👉👉


-ellienextdoor1

Is this the new way to catfish people? Match with people using a hotter friend (or fake profile) and then pawn them off to their “friend” aka you??? I have a lot of questions as to how this would work lol


Sleepmeansdeathforme

I’ve gotten messages like this before. It always weirds me out and I just unmatch. Sounds like a nice way to get trafficked.


-ellienextdoor1

Yeah, like this specific interaction is sorta funny, but the concept of matching with one person and getting passed off to another ESPECIALLY in a “my bro wants a free blowjob from a random slut aka you” way makes me realllly uncomfortable


InadequateUsername

It would be funnier if he was Dave


k3nnyd

I've seen some where like an 18 year old in high school is trying to get their 16 year-old friend hooked up but since 16 year-olds can't officially sign up for Tinder they act as middle person and likely end up getting some dude super cool statutory rape charges.


aeritheon

is that 16 year old person the type that dont click PG18 videos because of age restrictions


PacoMahogany

Hey Dave, I got some great advice on Reddit and I think there’s a win-win solution to your problem.


BastaDeLlamarmeAsi

Win-win-win


ZippZappZippty

Please follow rules 1 and 2


rugbymanDan

The hardest choices require the strongest wills


vrtig0

The mark of a true friend is a guy who goes out and gets a blow job and then brings one back for you.


HybridVeneer

Is it still called going on a milk run?


megan_squires

Wow straight outta the gate asking for one-way sexual gratification. What a gent!


PM-for-bad-sexting

I need a good friend.


TheX135

The suggested words are the perfect response. I... I'm... Oh...


Turn2aPage

“Hi, this is Dave... That’s what I said!”


PRIS0N-MIKE

Jesus christ that is such a creepy fuckin message. I've never understood dudes who actually try this shit and think it's gonna work.


dillonboyd01

I was in Dave’s position where my friends kept doing this shit to me idk why people think this even helps people in the lightest


satan66671

" I hadn't even thought about that... thank you "


NewPLUSultra

Did... did he really think this would work?


pheonixblade9

Oh


ACabbageManiac

You're teaching him how to be a good homie


Pig_peee

It’s not gay if it’s for the Homies


tacoweevils

MadLass


Known-Experience-673

I have no friends. ... I am grateful.


DiamondDragon63

it’s not gay it’s homiesexual


HXMason

a brojob? CHOO CHOOO


alizinrl

I would totally say that to a guy showing that level of desperation.


PessimisticProphet

Straight dicks don't get hard for males. Sorry to ruin your gay fantasy.


BjoerBaer

He already has proven to be a real bro, by using this god damn shit app with all these degenerats only to find some girl for his friend to fuck.


sakterboy140

r/suddenlygay


Jnb22

An of course say "no homo" first


BigBjugs

No wonder OLD is so hard. You get knobs like this looking for karma. Glad she shut this shit down.


[deleted]

Fuck...she has a point...


RoscoMan1

Honestly? One of my fave torts memories


Atworkwasalreadytake

“Well of course I know him, he’s me “


unlimited_2

It would’ve been way better is the guy who was messaging you was named Dave.


Taco-twednesday

It's definitely Dave texting him though, he's just not using his own name or pictures


Ovejadepoder

Amigos? Amigos son los que se chupan el pito


Common_Sense1

I - I’m.... Oh


J0e_Bl0eAtWork

Hot off of 9gag from 2019. [https://9gag.com/gag/aqgL1RM](https://9gag.com/gag/aqgL1RM)


FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF1234

r/suddenlygay


EyeFicksIt

A true friend goes into town and gets two blowjobs comes back and gives you one


wokkkkhaa

blowjob to brojob 😂


This_Caterpillar_330

Plot twist: Dave is sexually abstinent.


Besso91

AINT NOTHING GAY ABOUT GETTING YOUR DICK SUCKED!