today? or in my career?


Let’s go this week and then your career 😂


Just today: dog hospitalized for eating a toxic dose of a medication (the rest of the supply sent home after surgery). Upon discharge, asked if I'd be sending home more of the medication.....um no. The amount of times I've had to explain that male dogs have nipples is astounding. "Sir, don't you have nipples?" Had someone write a 1star review because I did an exam on the dog when he just wanted it "looked at" Weirdest question: "is Rogaine safe for cats?" Fun fact, it's not. Super toxic


“But my breeder said…”


The ridge along the back of a Rhodesian Ridgeback is from when they descended from lions. I'm worried my guinea pig is pregnant because my rabbit raped her. Then when convinced this was not a thing, they called back to let us know it was a dwarf rabbit so it might be different. I've let my budgie out and I can't get it back in the cage. I need you to come to my house and catch it for me. (On our emergency line).


A young woman (20 years or younger but at least 18 since she brought her cat in) brought her cat for rabies vaccine. After vaccination she asked if she should keep her cat seperate from the others, I told her there shouldn’t be a reason too and was confused as to why she thought that. She said “well because we gave him rabies” …SHE THOUGHT WE GAVE HER CAT RABIES. We had a brief but clarifying discussion about vaccines and how they work after that. To this day I’m still very much confused about it myself.


I love people like this. They may not understand what's going on but they do their best to take care of their pets


Maybe she was thinking of live vaccines? Still, pretty odd.


love this one


But why was she ok giving it then?!!?!


I have no clue. I had never been so confused than I was in that moment.


That if a dog had been mated with a different breed once, then none of her future litters would ever be pure breed again, even if mated with the same breed. That the ear medication they were putting in her ears had “gone right through her” because she has diarrhoea that was the same colour as the ear meds.


I can't think of an eye medication that's any other colour other than white...


It was ear drops that are a yellow colour


Too many clients have believed that litter mates can't breed with each other. Then get confused when they end up pregnant. I also had an approximately 70 year old client who claimed to have never heard of cancer. The cat had a large abdominal mass. She asked multiple times how her cat caught it and if it was contagious to her other pets.


I had clients once that didn’t understand what cancer was - they didn’t understand much though so trying to explain it was so hard


Soooo many. I used to write them down in a notebook. My favorite one was a new client, new patient to us. She said she'd bring the dog's medical records to the first appointment. I walk in, introduce myself, and asked to look over his records. Client: *points to dog* They're right there. Me: Where? *Looking under the dog, on the ground, under the seat* Client: No, he has a microchip. They're all in there! Me: ... Me: That's not how that works


We had a new client make an appointment for her dog for an ongoing medical issue. Our receptionist requested she bring the previous medical records to the appointment. I walk in the exam room and she has a HUGE folder of papers, which she said were “the records”. I start reading through them and after a few seconds of skimming, I realized she had brought HER own personal medical records and not the dogs. 🤦‍♀️


Wouldn't it be nice if it was though


“Why would I get her spayed? God gave her these beautiful breasts for a reason.” and said it with such a passion.


the way I would actually call the cops 💀




Nope nope nope lol




I had someone claim to me that her intact female dog would not get pregnant from her intact male dog, as they were brother and sister, so they wouldn't even try.


It’s ridiculous how many people think this. 😬


I had a similar case with rabbits... Owner came with a female rabbit with a complaint that she has blood in her urine and got super worried because two of her brother rabbits died few weeks earlier. Upon clinical examination the rabbits mammaries were swollen, she missed some fur on her chest. I asked the owner if she was making a nest. The owner cheerfully said "yes she is a rescue and we are happy she is making herself at home after all these weeks!" I made an ultrasound and it showed fluids in the uterus. I told the owner the rabbit is pregnant and they were shocked. "It's impossible, she hasn't mated at all" they said. How about the brother rabbits? "It can't be..." Then I had to explain how breeding and mating happens in the animal kingdom and told them to come for a control visit in few weeks. Later they called and said that they have found moving clumps of fur in the rabbits cage... 🙈


Apparently one of my vets at work asked for a client to bring in a poop sample for her dog. Idk how this lady came to this conclusion based on ya know, being at a vet, but she thought that meant to bring HER OWN POOP! Vet had to hold back laughter/disgust, and explain she meant the DOG'S poop and that her bringing in her own feces was not at all what she meant. Like..... How?! HOW?!


“Quick question….do dogs have 2 arms and 2 legs, or 4 legs???”


I actually like this one


what was your answer??


After being stunned into silence for a moment I said “Uhhhhh they have 4 legs……..” “Ok thank you!” And they hung up, that was the sole reason they called the hospital.


hahaha i’d like to believe they were having an argument and called a random vet to back them up


Technically the front legs are analogous to arms in humans!


That cats only get pregnant at night. He was mystified at how his intact female might be pregnant since he only lets her outside during the day. Another person asked me if she had to shave her cats belly so the kittens could nurse. One lady thinks I’m a quack because I suggested deworming her foster dog. She then proceeded to educate me about the anti-parasitic effects of pumpkin seeds and said that the dog had already received several doses of pumpkin seeds so he is worn free. She hung up when I said “ma’am that’s not how any of that works.” The rescue was shocked when I told them the story and dropped her as a foster.


"Will my snake try to eat my baby?" Snake in question was a 2-3ft long ball python...not going to touch anything bigger than a mouse, and probably not even a large one at that.


An owner once argued with me that we needed to use horse medication on her cat because a psychic told her that her cat was a horse in a past life. When we said it doesn’t work that way, she said “I beg to disagree with you” and kept insisting we prescribe horse medications for her 7 pound cat


thought that flea/tick/heartworm prevention was only needed for the first year of the dog's life.


I had one that insisted heartworm could be detected in the feces because that’s how her previous vet tested for it. She was very very confused.


This one is pretty fresh. We have a client who bred a litter of goldens and the puppies all ended up with strangles. He refuses to believe that it's actually strangles and thinks it's just a normal ear infection. So he stopped the prednisone and antibiotics once the symptoms had gone away and, big surprise, the symptoms came back. He started the meds again and, another big surprise, the symptoms went away again! So he called us the other day demanding an exam and more meds because "we still don't know what's causing it but these meds are working and I need more of them."


We amputated a dogs front leg due to osteosarc. The dog stopped pooping and his breath smelled. The owner called and said it was due to the amputation. He didn't have a really good explanation besides "you amputated the leg and now this happened." When I told him those two things weren't related, he became condescending, telling me he had a "PhD in Biology" and was a doctor, and was going to give me some work advice so I had to listen to him. I hung up.


I had a dog come in for its annual vaccines. I mentioned that the dog was due for a distemper vaccine. The owner said, “he doesn’t need that. His temperament is fine.” I laughed, and then looked at the owner and realized he wasn’t joking….


The number of times I've heard "I think he's had his distemper vaccine, he's really sweet"


idk why this is sooo funny to me!!🤣🤣🤣


Have had a client bring his dog in for diarrhea. Demanded we send him home with meds and no exam, and that he knows more than the vet ever will.


In that case, some liquid paraffin, sir?


“My son’s hamster has grown a giant tumor.” No, madam, those are his testicles.


Or brought hamster in for face tumors which ended up being food in cheek pouches


Had a man bring in his dog for a pregnancy diagnosis scan. He brought his two daughters into the consult with him, probably 6 and 8 years old. We had a little chat just to set it up, checked the mating dates and checked the dog over. Then I say "right, we'll just go out to the back, I'll be back with you in a few minutes" He looks a bit confused, points at the otoscope hanging on the wall and says "Are you not going to use that?" ... No, I'm not going to peer up your dog's vaginal canal with an otoscope cone. You have two children! Where have you been during that process?!


In general, I don't have much faith in people. But is there any chance he was joking? I could totally see my dad making a joke like that.


I would like to think there might have been, but there really was not even a hint of a cheeky glint in his eye. He was truly confused, and a little disappointed that he wouldn't get to see the "scan" performed.


For this story, it is important that in polish we call tartar in mouths a "stone" deposit. Roughly translated. So the client said that the previous vet who saw the dog and did a dental on it was an imbecile, as he didnt remove the "stone" from it's mouth. It had to swallow it after removal, and now the dog had these stones in its bladder. Another client was shocked to learn dogs have uteruses, just like people. When I asked, where did he think the puppies where growing at, he said "... in the belly??" A young pair brought their dog to be spayed. When they picked her up, they were shocked she wasnt a usual happy herself, and even whined a bit. When I said that well, their dog just had a surgery and might not be all that active for 2 days, they still couldnt grasp the concept - why was she in pain, I was asked. At that point, I wish I could trade places with these lucky ignorants and just live my life in darkness, being happy.


I absolutely love the bladder stone story.


C: “There’s a pigeon in my garden, what should I do?” V: is it injured? C: don’t know - but it’s been sitting there for a while V: maybe go see if it will fly away if you go outside? Also the stray cat someone trapped in their shed and wanted us to go get it, at 7pm on a Sunday night.


I had a horse patient that i suspected had Cushing’s disease - long curly hair, pot belly, muscle wasting. Convinced owner to let me take blood for an ACTH test. When I called back with the result and said it had Cushing’s and needed to go on pergolide she refused it because her farrier told her that pergolide makes horses get laminitis…


No! I don't need to worry about it. They won't mate because they are mother an son. My babies would never commit incest


"I have a boy cat, he is spraying all over my apartment. I need an appointment to have his glands removed." Pressing for more information and it took several minutes, it turns out she thought they were like skunks.... and didn't realize this was urine? Ugh poor girl, she was like 19 yrs old. Of course really stupid things get said pretty much every day but this was a recent one!


“I think my dog is pregnant. “ “when was she bred?” “Last year” ………


client only gives the amount of lasix she think her cat needs at whatever time (prescribed for BID) then panics when the cat's respiratory rate goes over 30. gets angry when you tell her a 30 respiratory rate is normal. ​ My favorite ER call was "there is food stuck in the feeding tube". after a short conversation i asked to go through his process of using the tube. flush with water- yes, give food slowly - yes, flush again with water- "......no, ..... it worked, i'm and idiot, i'm so sorry to call thank you"


Had only 2 dog-ingesting-pet-rodent cases so far. Luckily both times apo brought the vermin back up. The one owner asked for the rodent back, said she was sure it was swallowed whole, accused us of stealing her little dwarf hamster, was completely certain it was still alive. I had to dig the corpse out of the trash to show the lady the hydrochloric acid burned mangled headless hamster body and then was accused of killing it ourselves to do experiments. Not a one exotic animal in the building but OKay


A woman asked me with all sincerity if her 18 year old cat had cloudy eyes because she had gotten too many vaccines. Another owner was insistent her dogs new cosequin supplement was causing breathing issues


After explaining spay on pregnant cat: “when will she have the babies?”


New client, new patient on the phone wanting a second opinion because their other vet hasn't fixed the puppy's ear issues. Me: Is your puppy spayed? Client: Umm...(silence)...what's that? Me: Has your puppy had the surgery so she can't have babies anymore? Client: Oh, no. I'm going to breed her. She's exotic. Client didn't have money, but proceeded to schedule appointment to see if they would have enough when the appointment comes. I get the records from the previous vet. I start going through the records and want to smash my head on the desk at all of the non educated things this person was doing. After skimming through, I notice they've been seeing a doctor I've worked with before and have a lot of respect for. Some people just have their own beliefs on things and don't want to listen to the vet.


After explaining the severity and diagnosis of post-op septic peritonitis, the guy asked of she was going home tomorrow since she doesn't like being in the hospital.


I’m sure I’ve had many but the one that pops into my head was when a young (18-19 year old) woman brought in her cat for a pre-op exam for a spay. Cat goes outside, client concerned she might be pregnant - looks me dead in the eyes and asks me “will the babies be ok?” Sorry, what do you mean? “Like the spay, it isn’t going to hurt the babies is it?”


Pt comes for follow up rads 2 weeks post TPLO- it’s a tech appt, DVM will review rads but no exam or anything needed unless there are concerns. Upon checking out client was real confused why it was ~$300 for radiographs, not $15, it’s just a tech appointment…had to explain the difference between a tech fee and X-rays. Not nearly the worst, just the most recent face palm of the week.


“My partner and I gave our dog crabs. Can you ask the doctor if treatment is the same for him?!”




Someone recently called in to the ER asking if Feliway was safe to use around cats


My male cat has been trying to get outside a lot this week because he is in heat.


This one just happened last weekend... A man brought his puppy in and it was in really poor shape, ended up positive for parvo. We stated that it needed to be hospitalized, and will need to be transferred to emergency at the end of our day. The guy elected to sign an AMA and take the poor puppy home and "perform his own treatment using COLOR THERAPY because that worked on an Afghan Hound he used to have"...... After he left I looked up color therapy and it's based on Chakras... I hate people.


And then they will bring you the puppy back on the edge of death and act like nothing more can be done….


“Oh, there’s no way my cat is blocked. The vet cut my cat’s penis off. I know this because he was neutered and I’ve never seen his penis.” Then argued with me when I told them that wasn’t part of the castration procedure and that a cat can still be blocked after being neutered.


A client once asked me if her dog’s testicles would grow back.


i answered the phone and it was some old lady saying we sent her an email to remind her about her dogs wellness exam being due soon, but she said she needs help bringing her dog to the vet. I was honestly so confused lol she said he won’t let her put the leash on him. The dog is a shiba inu so it figures but like how was she taking him to the vet before? I had my manager take that call lol


Only mosquitoes on Indian reservations carry heartworms.


Not a client but I knew a nurse that used to tell clients that they only needed heart worm prevention if they lived near a lake because that’s where the mosquitos were




Where to being…