T O P
unreadable_captcha

just say you peed your pants to avoid the shame of spilling the orange juice


fattyfatty21

Where’s Billy Madison when you need him.


Broberts505

Peeing your pants is cool


arthur_smokingjacket

If peeing your pants is cool, then consider me Miles Davis!


LetsTCB

That is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard .... let's go!


LaikasDad

#"THEEAT VERONICA VAUGHN IS ONE FINE PIECE OF AYYSSE.... Believe me, I know from experience..."


the_notorious_d_a_v

No you don't.


Mobile_Low2469

Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her *got it on*. Wooo-eee!


the_notorious_d_a_v

No they didn't.


Yourmommymymouth

Yeah, no. But you can imagine what it would've been like if they did.


supermariodooki

O'doyle rules!


hrdrck1117

You're not cool. Unless you pee your pants.


Christafaaa

At least your last day of vacation will be memorable.


tlabythec

or marmalade-able?


UpDoor

I applaud the effort!


dobsofglabs

How could such a wonderfully cheesy dad joke get down voted? That joke was stupid and i love it


tlabythec

maybe some people don't realize that marmalade starts off with oranges?


timbsm2

Peeing your pants is soooo yesterday, now OJing your pants is IN!


EatThyStool

Turn your pants around and just tell people they're stupid for thinking you pissed out of your ass.


Xennon54

I peed his pants


chedchez

Buy a new pair


PhilJ223

My girlfriend lent me a pair of hers, now I look like Mc Hammer I guess it’s better than orange stuff all over me


D3vilUkn0w

U can't touch this!


jamescharisma

Tell that to the orange juice


bizcat

This is the photo we want


SodaRayne

> My girlfriend borrowed me a pair of hers Just fyi the receiver borrows, the giver lends. So your girlfriend lent you a pair of hers, or put the other way you borrowed a pair of hers.


PhilJ223

Ok thank you for explaining. I didn’t know. English isn‘t my first language


SodaRayne

I thought that might be the case based on the unusual usage of that word, but otherwise your English seems great in your comments and I wouldn't have guessed.


PhilJ223

Thank you. That makes me happy :)


Rudomekato

Guten Tag, fellow German speaker


PhilJ223

Guten Abend der Herr oder die Dame


Rudomekato

Genieße den Rest deines Urlaubs, werter Herr


PhilJ223

Ich bedanke mich!


katmndoo

You might be surprised how many native speakers get that wrong.


KittenPurrs

In parts of central Indiana, I've had numerous people ask if I would be willing to borrow them something. On a side note, some people dethaw frozen goods rather than defrosting or thawing them.


jexxijane

Can confirm, grew up in Central Indiana.


KittenPurrs

Have you heard of people itching a mosquito bite rather than scratching it? That's another one that took a minute to get used to.


katmndoo

Yep.


Suspicious_Match_353

Dethaw: refreeze. Too funny. Never heard that.


UncreativeGlory

I wonder how many people do it on purpose for the fun of it. It's like "Care if I steal this?" It's not stealing if you ask.


turkeyjerkyvii

I do that all the time. Like yesterday, my friend bought a big party pack meal at this restaurant near us that had like 6 each of hamburgers, chili cheese dogs, corn dogs, chili cheese fries and a few other things in it and she asked me if I wanted anything so I said "sure! I'm gonna steal a chili cheese fry and a chili cheese dog." I've also used borrowed the way op did. Like my friend and I went downtown a few days ago and it got chilly and I didn't have a jacket. I was texting with my boyfriend and he asked me if it was getting cold so I told him yes but that my friend borrowed me an extra jacket she had in her car. When other people say things like that that may not be the correct way, I still know what they mean. I do it too. I wouldn't correct them for saying it either. 🤷🏻‍♀️ (Edited spelling mistakes)


madrex

Now do a rap about spilling OJ on your old pants and hammer slide left to right


NiceTitsBroski

Gf’s harem pants in lieu of a spare pair of your own, because they’re the only style loose enough to fit? Been there friendo


3dWin0

Do not pee again ,ok?


darthlegal

No worries. People are too self absorbed nowadays to care.


IDoPokeSmot

Last day of vacation? Just no pants it, it's not like your ever gonna see those people again...


KlumsyNinja42

Who even goes on vacation with only one pair of pants. That’s just asking for trouble.


mrgreyeyes

Get arrested for indecent exposure, get extra days at the vacation destination. In prison.


Veleeho

He didnt say he had no spare underwear


Theresneverenoughpud

Pretty sure strutting around in your underwear would still be considered indecent.


Alidre82

Unless you're at the beach!


will6465

Where hell are you from.. underwear and shorts are almost the same.. it’s not indecent exposure


nojro

Long as your bits stay inside, you're good.


DeliciousLaugh7597

Atleast they'll give him pants there


Capsule_CatYT

I guess r/technicallythetruth?


wad11656

Why the hell is this joke so heavily downvoted Is this another instance where the idiots need an /s ?


Why_T

It’s getting so bad. I had a guy get mad at me for posting my opinion and not explicitly marking it as my opinion.


biggerwanker

From orange juice pants to orange pants.


skypineapple

Always bring way more pants & undies than you need in case you piss yourself once an hour while on vacation. I mean that’s what my anxiety has me doing, anyway.


Coeurmungandr

Right? Like what if I shit myself? People are always like "Do you do that often? When was the last time you did that...?" Well it's been a looong time but every day is one day closer to the day it'll happen and it's about damn time it does! *packs 10 pairs of underwear for a weeklong trip* EDIT 10 is not enough. 12, possibly 14


Pherbear

Socks too man, 20 pairs. Depending on temperature of vacation.


manjar

I never even considered that I might shit my socks.


KnotiaPickles

Yes. I go to burning man every year and pack about 35 pairs of socks for 7 days haha


twallen2123

Last time I went to burning man, I never packed socks, lol


KnotiaPickles

How is your playa foot these days? 😝


twallen2123

I'm from Minnesota originally, Anything above 40゚ I wear shorts and sandals. I do not wear socks with my sandals. My 2 times at burning man, I wore shorts and sandals the whole time.


KnotiaPickles

The alkaline playa dust eats me alive without socks! You’re braver than I 😂


Pherbear

Oh what! That's funny cause I live right next to Gerlach haha right over the line in Cali. It's beautiful here and it's perfect for bird watching and rock hounding! Been wondering, how expensive is it REALLY to go to burning man?


KnotiaPickles

That is wild! Small world lol. It costs around 400$ for a ticket, and most of the expense is food and camping supplies for a week, but you don’t pay a dime for anything while you’re there. It’s my favorite place in the world. But hell on socks.


skypineapple

Oh same with the socks for sure!! Might pee down into your shoe 😂


Pherbear

Anything could happen! Anything!


Sworn_to_Ganondorf

I brought one pair per day on my trip im on rn. This time will be the time I shit myself I just know it. Destiny gonna catch me lackin


Mini-Nurse

Those are rookie numbers, you need 10-14 for a long weekend. A week requires at least 50.


lil_sargento_cheez

I feel this too much


BrockoliandSpinach

I come way too close to farting and it not being gas way too often for me to ever be confident in the amount of underwear I bring


derpstickfuckface

You can wear pants more than one time ya know


skypineapple

Absolutely. But not if they’ve been soiled!


toastea0

Me on a three day vacation with 14 pairs of underwear. Lmao.


IlexPauciflora

I've always heard that you should pack like you plan to shit yourself every day you're there.


im_a_dr_not_

Everything went as planned


Renaissance-child

That is to say, “everything came out alright.”


pants6000

I approve of this message.


RMMacFru

At least two of everything. And check where the nearest laundromat is. Some hotels have laundry services (or self-service machines).


amd2800barton

Seriously. Always bring at least an extra of the critical things. Travel packing should go "ok. I'll wear the clothes I'm wearing now on the plane, and have pajamas and clean underwear for the hotel tonight. Saturday we'll just be exploring the city casual, so shorts, a tee, socks, and underwear are all I'll need. Nice shirt and slacks for the dinner that night, and clean socks and underwear because I'll definitely get swamp-ass walking around during the day. Saturday gets the same PJs as friday. Sunday morning and the flight back I can go with a clean shirt, the same shorts, clean underwear and socks. I'll add an extra nice-casual shirt in between the dinner shirt and the tee shirts, set of extra underwear, and extra pair of socks. So to pack I need: 5x underwear, 4x socks, dress shirt, 2x tees, 1x nice shirt, shorts, slacks, and pajamas. If my slacks or dress shirt get dirty I can wear the nice jeans I've got on now and the nice shirt. If a tee shirt gets dirty I can wear the nice shirt. If an underwear or sock mishap happens, I've got an extra set of those, and the PJ pants or nice jeans I'm wearing now can backup the casual shorts. Yup I'm all set"... and then sometimes I throw in an extra of one or two things just in case I'm extra messy, or am planning to be flexible with the weather.


Kindredmen

You're on vacation with only one pair of pants.


Flakester

~~Asking the real questions.~~ Making the real statements.


uselessrart

He learned the hard way


donkeyrocket

OP said elsewhere it was a two-day trip. I still err on the side of pants plus shorts/sport clothes as they pack small. I have too much faith in my farts to not bring more underwear and pants than necessary.


CapytannHook

2 days off work is not a vacation, that's a weekend


Narwhals4Lyf

That’s what I’m wondering , unless he went somewhere only for a weekend


RippyMcBong

I always only bring one pair of pants on vacation, I like to travel light.


CraftedShot

So you’re one of the assholes stinking up the planes.


dirty_shoe_rack

I don't know about that guy but I also like to travel light. I travel a lot. But washing clothes on your vacation is a thing people do, you know


RippyMcBong

These are the kind of people that take a week long cruise once a year and bring their entire wardrobe and only end up wearing like 3 things.


RippyMcBong

No, I'm one of the people that knows how to use a fucking coin operated laundry machine.


ermagerditssuperman

I mean I do one-bag travel, but I still bring more than one pair (or more likely, one pant + one short, or one pant + one legging) because you never know.


CountingScars94

This sounds like a "I only wear my pants once before washing them" type of person.


Specter1125

Even when you wear them several times between washes, you shouldn’t really wear them multiple days in a row.


dirty_shoe_rack

Why?


turtlewhisperer23

Fashion


CountingScars94

What I meant was, vacations are usually more than a single day so the person should theoretically have more than one pair of pants. They are saying that they didn't have any so it sounds like they're the type of person who only wears their pants once before they consider them dirty and in need of washing before they can wear them again. I wasn't bashing the OP, it was just an observation.


MelliniRose

Well that's just poor planning


wiarumas

Well that's just pour planning. Orange you glad its the last day.


TheInnerFifthLight

Proper planning prevents pissed/poured pants for us.


PhilJ223

To clarify it was a two day trip. Didn’t think I would need another pair


ReturnOfTheGuineapig

Noob, everyone knows you take a pair of extra pants cause you might just randomly shit yourself


ashwhenn

And 6 pairs of underwear, just in case you shit yourself 5 extra times.


1119king

If Oregon Trail taught me anything, it's that you never know when dysentery will strike.


tadlrs

Still bad planning tho.


getyourcheftogether

Dude, even on an overnight trip you bring extra clothes just in case. Hell I have extra clothes in my car just everyday, granted they are a complete change of clothes for the gym but there's extra socks and underwear there but that is an option that I have


ExploratoryCucumber

Toss some toiletries, a rain coat, a blanket, and a water bottle in there and you're basically set for whatever. Did this in college. Really improves the experience of crashing on a buddy's couch when you've been out together all night drinking.


getyourcheftogether

I did have a full size towel, deodorant, shampoo conditioner and body wash as well.


ExploratoryCucumber

Legend.


helpnxt

I tried that on a 3 day trip... slipped over in mud the first night... never doing that again as cleaning jeans in a small sink is a pain.


derpstickfuckface

Why are they so angry about 1 pair of pants for an overnighter?


RippyMcBong

Seriously, reddit baffles me sometimes. I would bring one pair of pants, one extra t shirt, one extra pair of boxers and one extra pair of socks for an overnight trip. I don't like hauling around a bunch of shit on vacation.


Akushin

You didn’t bring an extra pair and your primary pair isn’t even brown! What if you shit yourself??


PM_Me_1_Funny_Thing

This guy shits


sperko818

I bring a backpack of some necessities everywhere I go, even extra socks and boxers because you just never know.


theloniousmick

Always plan to shit yourself on a daily basis!


Breakmastajake

Lol I have no idea why you're getting downvoted. Except that this is Reddit. Sure, an extra pair of pants might be a good plan, but it was a 2-day trip. I can see how you might try to go as light as possible on packing.


MelliniRose

Ah, that's fair


srv50

One pair of pants on vacay? It only would have been better if this was the first day!


EXTRA-THOT-SAUCE

Who goes on vacation without packing at least two or three extra pairs?


Hello_Gorgeous1985

Apparently it's a 2 day trip and he literally only brought the pants he's wearing....


spilk

plenty of people who like to travel light.


fuckscotty

And what did you learn?


YourAverageGod

You're one of the people who hold cups by the lid


PhilJ223

Nah man. I was going to open a bottle and while reaching for it I got caught in the straw


YourAverageGod

Fair enough. Godspeed friend.


upsidedownbackwards

On the airplane home from Denver they gave me the can of cranberry cocktail. I barely had time to think "I have to arrange my tray table so I can be careful not to spill it" before I knocked it right into my lap. I was handed a bunch of those tiny almost useless plain napkins to try to clean up but by then the denim had soaked most of it up. Feelsbadman


Lazy-Ad-770

Good cover story. You should be ok


TheOriginalMattMan

Orange you wishing you had extra pants now?


Sequax1

My second day of my new job I pushed a lid down on a styrofoam cup of coffee and it exploded the entire cup - all over me, the coffee station and floor. Went the entire morning with both my shirt and pants soaked in coffee. Still haven’t lived it down.


_Bugler

On my sisters first day at a new job she pissed her pants so it could have been worse


RobJMTB

Something I learned in the military during our field training. ALWAYS bring 2 extra pants, 5 extra underwer, and 10 extra socks in every single occasion. Socks not as needed now since I'm not walking through thick morning dew fields anymore but I still do it out of habit.


jeffkeyz

CalicoCutPants.com


VomitSnoosh

You gotta give


rustedsandals

This is why I came here


D1RKK

Was looking for this comment. Take my upvote.


Brody_Satva

That's got nothing to do with piss.


SomeOtherNeb

Even rappers wear em


MasterBejter

That’s why when I go on a trip I pack as if I am going to shit my pants twice a day.


Beginning_Gap_2388

That sandwich looks awesome


nuclearbuttstuff

Seriously, that thing is a monster. Give us the deets on that sandwich!


TheSpangler

Can't you just appreciate the sandwich without needing to know the "deets?"


Brain_Booger

Well. Could have happened on your first day.


citizenvane

Just wet the rest of your pants to make them uniformly dark.


vpk122

Once threw up on the way to the airport due to motion sickness. I had to wear that same pant for an 8 hour flight. Lucky for others only i could smell it since the vomit mostly dried up before the flight.


isabellla321

This justified my reasoning for excessive overpacking


MisterxRager

Do you not have pants from previous days? They can’t be that dirty compared to this.


BlackMan_FryingMan

Question how long were you on vacation with just one pair of pants? Also how long do you normally go with out changing your pair of pants? Did you go on vacation to your families and they have extra pants? I just don’t understand the no extra pants?


Apache-attackheli

Who goes on vacation with one pair of pants those pants are probably crusty man


SofaTurnip

Now you get why women pack a million outfits for vacation.


welcome-to-my-mind

We found him. We finally found the one person who doesn’t pack like they’re going to wear a years worth of outfits in 5 days. Thank you for proving that the rest of us have always been right.


PCGT3

Spill Orange Juice on your shirt so that it looks like you spilled higher up and it ran down.


BaNversion

5 minutes into walking my dog yesterday I went into a corner and due to a bad stream I pissed myself, I feel you.


praise_H1M

I feel like this belongs in r/decisionpoverty


Ancient_DNA

So put on the ones you wore yesterday? Tf


MrSpudzz

You don’t have a dirty pair to wear? Tf?


Jspaul44

Not a full cup of juice... there is still a sip left


chung2k6

Take it off and wash it in the bathroom sink. Go commando for a while, doesn't feel that bad


International-Ad7367

Hahahahaha peepee boy


SnowyMuscles

Go to a laundromat after buying a cheap pair from a second hand store


GeographistMusic

I would dip my pants in orange juice right now just to be on vacation so I don’t see how this sucks. Hahaha jk.


Prof_Awesome_GER

Only bringing one pair of pants on vacation is a bold move.


SolidSnakesBandana

There are much worse things to smell like


DomiNatron2212

N+1 homie. Unless it's underwear. Then you just bring every pair you have clean


JournalistKane

Thats why you bring an extra pair of pants. This, or because you may shit your pants. A real adult calculates this risk.


Double-Passenger4503

What ever sandwich you got tho looks smackin ngl


donorak7

Always be prepared.


Avatar_the_Pig

Sure.... sure... Looks like an inside job to me.


N0vii

You went on a multi day vacation with only one pair of pants? Or am I being too literal? Lol


tunaman808

I usually only bring one pair of jeans on vacation. Washing jeans after every wear is a waste of detergent, water, electricity and vacation time, and also shortens the life of the jeans. In fact, a lot of jean manufacturers say you should [never wash your jeans](https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2014/oct/24/why-you-should-never-ever-wash-your-jeans-unless-you-really-really-have-to) unless they get really dirty. You can always buy a new pair if you really, really have to. It's just never come up in the 25 years I've been doing this.


DiverseUniverse24

Go all in. Sink, shorts in, clean em up, wring em out, stick em back on. Looks better, smells better, feels, wet, but better and less sticky. Own it.


BolognaKing9000

Who brings one pair of pants on vacation? It's the whole reason luggage is a thing.


tayweid

Sell the rest of your sandwich and buy pants


Unemployedloser55

Put a towel round you. Wash pants at laundry. Use drier. Problem solved in 90 minutes.


Gabrieldayz

No extra pants, how long was your vacation?


Walagemini94

At least you got some karma out of it :D


SoCaliTrojan

I go on vacation as often as I can, but I've never gone on one with only one pants. I even keep a spare in my carry-on luggage in case I have an accident in the airport or on the airplane.


StiviiK

A few days ago the same thing happend to me… on my first day of vacation.. I just went out and bought a new one.


rickrett

You went on vacation with just one pair of pants?


rosinall

You brought one pair of pants to a multi-day vacation? Ick. And you don't have a twenty to buy a pair of sweatpants? "Hey /r/wellthatsucks, I took a vacation with this guy I thought I knew, and"...


whatever54267

You only have one pair of pants for vacation?


ozarkan18

Causally trip and fall into the pool (after you empty your pockets of course), do a quick underwater scrub of your pants, air dry as you’re wearing them. 👍


HelloLoJo

What sort of a weirdo doesn’t pack their bags as if they’re going to piss themselves twice a day?? Don’t we all do that?


herekatie_katie

This is why you always pack like you might shit yourself everyday…


Toiretachi

Pants probably smell like ass after wearing them everyday so this could be an improvement.


cubs_070816

you went on vacation with one pair of pants? go to the bathroom, remove pants, rinse thoroughly in sink. dry if possible, either under a hand dryer or wring them out or just throw them over a stall door for 15 or 20 minutes while you sit on the throne and contemplate your mistake. put on cleaner, moist pants. i'd rather do that than have sticky orange crotch the whole day.


Simple-Dragonfly-425

I don't care


Melan420

What kind of weirdo do you have to be to not bring extra pair of pants on a vacation? I bring like 15 pairs of underwear in case I shit myself 14 times (possibility of that is low but never zero)


Beerasaurus

You only brought one pair of pants? Did you only bring 1 underwear to?


StaticElectrician

Tell your gf, wife, or a nearby woman that you are offering a double dose of vitamin D


Withkyle

Who wears pants on vacation?


Fred011235

thats my big fear when i travel, i rarely take an extra pair of pants.


rinkydinkis

I spilled ranch all over my pants in Vegas so I just bought a new pair of shorts from lululemon. Money solves all problems


philipcutlip

One of those one pair of pants situations, eh? How long was your vacation?