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togocann49

Can’t change the past. But if it comes up in future, having a loved one by your side while passing can be a comfort for those passing


PM_ME_YOUR_EYELASHES

My dad was there but he had to step outside because he couldn't handle the situation emotionally


togocann49

As long as dog knew he was there in some fashion, likely brought dog some comfort


BandicootFun6843

It's my opinion you should be there with your dog. HOWEVER, do not let anyone beat you up about it and do not let anything you read make you beat yourself up. It is a personal choice all dog owners must make at some point. I agree with everything being said here and mainly commented to add it is a very, very quick and peaceful process. Like within 30 seconds of the injection, they are gone. Compare 30 seconds to the lifetime of memories you gave her.


PM_ME_YOUR_EYELASHES

As long as she isn't suffering anymore my mind is a more at ease


InterestingSolid4740

This is just me but I will be right there holding them if I can be. I could never have them be without me going through that.


fakeChinaTown

Vets say the last thing dogs do before dying is desperate looking for their owners.


Zipper-is-awesome

What’s done is done, don’t beat yourself up over it, and don’t let other people beat you up over it either. You did what you thought was right at the time.


PM_ME_YOUR_EYELASHES

That's the problem is I don't know if I did was right because my mind was so focused on bringing her home and I wasnt thinking clearly that's why I keep second guessing my decision


Ornery-Ad-4818

Second-guessing doesn't help anyone. AND, you reasonably thought your dad was going to be there; you didn't think she was going to be alone. Really, truly, not your fault.


Zipper-is-awesome

Of course you were not thinking clearly, you got shocking news. I thought my dog became paralyzed because of a herniated disc, all the doctors thought that as well. They had him under general anesthesia to do an MRI, then we very shockingly learned it was an inoperable spine tumor. I told them just not to wake him up, to euthanize him instead. The vet I was talking to on the phone (the MRI place was 45 min away, I went home, because we all expected he would go from the MRI right into back surgery) kept saying “don’t you want to say goodbye to him?” and “I can wake him up, he won’t be in pain, and you can say goodbye. You can be with him when he passes.” Like he said it multiple times. He was clearly judging me for my decision. Sometimes what he said pops up into my head, I know he died alone. This is not the exact situation you are in, but I get second-guessing like that. Like another commenter said, second-guessing doesn’t do anyone any good.


antaresdawn

I’m sorry for your loss. I’m not going to say you made the right decision, but it’s the one you made. You have to make peace with it.


PM_ME_YOUR_EYELASHES

That's what I'm trying to do but I've never had a dog before so this is something that I've never needed to make a decision on which is why I keep regretting my decision


GrumpyOldDog

It's OK. When I was in high school, I wasn't capable of staying with my dog when she passed. I was with her for a good two hours before that and my parents stayed with her at the time the vet put her to sleep. As an adult I was grateful to be with my dog last year when he passed. But, I also realized that as it was happening, he really didn't know what was going on. They give them medication to knock them out (sleep) before the final dosage is given, so he was asleep when he passed. You also have to take care of yourself and if its too much, that's OK.


mrkoolkat5249

You left a family member to die at the hand of strangers.


sandbirde

This may sound morbid, but I hope it is a comfort nonetheless: Your dog isn't alive to care anymore. It was in her final moments. Whatever she felt, it didn't last long, and it doesn't matter now. It especially doesn't affect the years you spent raising and loving her. Focus on those memories instead, for your own sake.


PM_ME_YOUR_EYELASHES

I'm trying my best but she was my first dog so it's alot tougher than I imagined


sandbirde

Understandable. But it sounds like you loved her to pieces, and I'm guessing you took very good care of her. I guarantee nothing so devastating happened when they put her down that you should regret not being there. In all honesty, it's mostly the fresh grief making you feel the way you do. The best thing you can do at this point is just give yourself time.


PM_ME_YOUR_EYELASHES

Thank you for the kind words


sweetrollscorpion

This is a personal decision and entirely up to you. Don't let anyone shame you for it. Many people will say that it's your job as a pet owner to be there for their last moments - and I see where they're coming from. But you *have* to take care of yourself as well. If you're not mentally/emotionally able to be there, it's okay. FWIW, the euthanasia process is very quick and your dog wouldn't have been scared for long (if at all! Some dogs aren't scared at the vet, mine isn't). Many vets and techs will love on pets during the process if owners aren't there. I'm sure your pup was well taken care of. Sorry for your loss. ♥️


RVNr_h

Sometimes an incredibly distraught owner can be just as stressful on an animal as no owner there at all. They pick up on your emotions and worry all the more. As a vet nurse I can tell you that your dog was likely hugged and reassured by whoever was with her at the time. Gentle words and reassuring pats are always included. Sometimes kisses too if the dog needs them. Don't beat yourself up, you made one of the hardest decisions for her to relieve her suffering.


PM_ME_YOUR_EYELASHES

Knowing she was treated with so much care and love even by complete strangers in her final moments relieved so much stress and guilt, they couldn't give the same amount of love I gave her but even a fraction of it reassures me that she was at peace.


misogrumpy

Your dog has been surrounded by strangers many times before. It probably isn’t that unusual of an experience. I’m sure they did everything possible to make them comfortable.


PM_ME_YOUR_EYELASHES

And from looking at her she didn't seem to have the energy to care


VikingTwin9935

Geez some of these comments are disturbing, harsh, and ridiculous. One of the things I learned from human grief support groups after my mom died is that there are some people who feel they have to leave the room due to the intensity of emotions when a family member is near death. The point of your dog being at the vet is that they can make him/her comfortable. It's painful enough to miss your pup. Give yourself a break. Try not to add this guilt to your plate.


NotaBolognaSandwich

Not Being there and having your dog looking for you is an overblown thing, that really doesn’t have any merit. Some people like to be there so people don’t like that to be the last memory of their dog. Everyone is different, and you did what you were comfortable with. No issue with that and no reason to feel guilty at all.


Christmasstolegrinch

I would have stayed. But who am I to judge another person. Clearly you loved her and clearly you feel guilt. We all regret things we did or did not do, that’s the human condition. Just learn from it.


mikealsongamer

U can’t change what happened, and u will likely feel guilty about this for the rest of your life, but just remember this action didn’t mean that u loved your dog any less, I lost my dog nearly a month ago and holding him right until his last breath was soul crushing and probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and I can understand how someone wouldn’t b able to go through that. The important thing here is u did the right thing and stopped ur dog from suffering no matter how much it hurt u to do so


PM_ME_YOUR_EYELASHES

That's what I keep telling myself and maybe one day I'll be able to forgive myself but right now I feel numb


Unique_Document1940

She was very unwell and she was at the vet's office, a place she had been many times in the past. She didn't know she was about to die. You obviously loved your dog very much. Leaving the room was ok. She may have sensed your anxiety and sadness had you stayed. I've seen videosof people sobbing and screaming just before their pet is put down, I think thhis would be very stressful to the pet. Worse than you stepping out of the room. I don't know if the process differs in other countries, but where I live they get a sedative injected first. They are fast asleep when the second injection is given and that stops their heart. You are grieving right now. Feelings of guilt are normal. Take care


PM_ME_YOUR_EYELASHES

Thank you for the kind words and reassurances, I just wanted her to know I was there till the end