T O P

I know you won't read this

I know you won't read this

TonyBalonyUK

Anything


Miogeta

You can now transform into the quintessential British old man at will.


TonyBalonyUK

TALLY-HO! What


Paranthelion_

...but now you can never change back.


TonyBalonyUK

POPPYCOCK!


Yeetdatoutboomer

dn


smol_boi-_-

You can make every boomer in a 10 mile radius yeet whatever it is they are holding.


NEED-MEMES-austria

Car horns can do that


sirchickenbs

U can now get memes with a snap of ur finger


MrGameAndStuff

But only in Austria


zoomeryeet1

similar usernames lol


Yeetdatoutboomer

u yeet zoomers i yeet boomers


zoomeryeet1

awesome, we should form a squad


Yeetdatoutboomer

we shall name it the yeet squad


MrDocFin

deez nuts


PyroWolf67

Should I be afraid?


WitheredDGX69

Every wolf within a 15 mile radius of you will now suddenly catch on fire


NEED-MEMES-austria

Why


Maximum_Confidence79

Why not


BlueSheepPlays

Good question


KORO088

Why


space_warrior_19

Why not


flamingcat21

We have a similar username


exploooooosions

You're like Catwoman but totally gay


flamingcat21

I wasn’t expecting that


[deleted]

[удалено]


giogioboi235

You are now the armored titan


ShinzouSasageyo845

Epic


cuella47o

A h a h a suddenly gets immense depression and ptsd


Badassheaven

Sup


thepandabro

Hi


SaucyRodrigues

All pandas are now your bros


SufficientExpert8574

All 1800 of them


thepandabro

This is sad


SufficientExpert8574

I know man, I know


KORO088

I...........ha-have............I have no wor....... I have no words for this


zevric

You gain extra strength from eating bamboo, however it's bamboo and doesn't offer much energy so the energy you get is very negligible... It also makes you finish every sentence with Bro


just_average_human

Hmm


Space_Shark_12345

Well your just normal I guess…


gr1zzlenuts

Normal-Man


RivenIsLove

On his way to his 9-5 job


Ancient_Turtles

R/usernamechecksout


Illustrious_Fig_1157

Making anyone you sneeze on became average in every aspect


n0_b0dy_420

On average humans have more nipples than eyeballs, just saying


Life-Ad1409

I will never unread that


SemicolonAnchor

This fact is valid. Husband has 3 nipples.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Illustrious_Fig_1157

He also can make everyone here who gain powers become average


Lionheart58901

he's too dangerous to let live


Horny_Hornbill

Man man, the man who was bit by a man and gained the powers of a man


Miogeta

Just a normal human. Nothing to see here. Stop staring! No I’m a human, not a group of sentient salmon in a trench coat or something like that…


LastBiteoftheburger

What do i do


smol_boi-_-

You can make the last bite taste like the last thing the person closest to you ate.


NotFlyingScotsman

That feeling when the last bite tastes like ass


DisappointedSnake

Why did the last bite taste like ass?


MaikHD2004

Hm


chaoticrays

You can make any video from 2004 be in HD


MaikHD2004

That actually useful


WitheredDGX69

The number 2004 will now be displayed in HD


pieman289_

you can time travel to only 2004


Collie_lp

But in HD


The_Phantom4

Ooga booga


BabyD1ckInYaFaze

You cant touch yourself


x_Emeralds

damn bro


Efferitas

You have the power to fire off the mighty Emerald Splash, but it only does something useful once per week.


GuenzoAnoe

This one is better than the invisibility one. But I'd say no-one and nothing can touch him. So they would basically walk around naked and no-one, neither him, could do anything about it.


ffFr0sT_05

You can now turn invisible


Fidel_Castro_man

Аввм Антошка Совсем невозможно Так жить ни дня Возьми меня С собой на глазах


Miogeta

You now have the ability to not speak what ever language that is.


Fidel_Castro_man

Thank you friend


Miogeta

Use it wisely.


Fidel_Castro_man

I shall


sickles_and_pickles

you are Russian communist with Cuban ancestry


Prism04

You have the ability to strip anyone from their property.


Fidel_Castro_man

Ah yes, my favourite power. I didn't even need a revolution this time!


pieman289_

hi?


WitheredDGX69

You can now say every digit of pi


pieman289_

3.14159...


pianospace37

...2653589...


Potatototus

...793...


woxxiiq

...2384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164…


Miogeta

You have the ability to summon pi amount of pies . But that’s all you have for your whole life. So use it wisely


[deleted]

[удалено]


Key_Reputation_5538

Try me I’m not a bot by the way it’s ok I will wait…


smol_boi-_-

You're really good at losing keys. 5538 so far


Key_Reputation_5538

Better then nothing I suppose thanks guys


Floexer

Actually, you are always loosing your Piano keys, and altough overwhelm the audience with ya skill


SaucyRodrigues

Idk sounds kinda sus


smol_boi-_-

Your bodily fluids are all sauce


xXx_Sathsperm_xXx

ever hungry? Just cut open a wound in your arm for free sauce!!!


Benwagonhoff

You are like spider man but with hot sauce


Significant-Test8219

you always know the sauce to posts


chaoticrays

That would actually be a good one ngl


Gauldur04

Ligma


YaBoiSlenderman

you have the ability to annalihate any person who asks you "what's that?"


ignore_me123

Deez


Gauldur04

Ligma balls


pieman289_

very salty possibly over salty peanut butter


Chaosphoenix_28

I wanted to comment anything, but someone already did, so i am writing this nonesense right here.


smol_boi-_-

Whenever you're reborn your body parts are arranged in a new chaotic order.


Chaosphoenix_28

Sounds fun. Cant wait to have my head attached to my hand.


Flying352

Reeeee


WitheredDGX69

You gained swimming


Flying352

Cool I didn’t know how to swim


RefrigeratorMuch9776

you can turn in to an airplane, but you require fuel!


KaptainKunukles

Ree


pieman289_

you have the power of the k


KaptainKunukles

Two more and I will have the World


pieman289_

what have i done


KaptainKunukles

I have the Kool Kids Klub now you gave me this power


Technical_Flamingo54

Please be gentle and use copious amounts of lube


Miogeta

You now have a robotic flamingo sidekick. His name is Sebastian.


buffmyinternet

Eine Inder tat ist in der Tat eine Tat die ein Inder tat


doenermasterofhell

Du hast in Brandenburg 4G


Floexer

Du bist in Brandenburg 4G


YaBoiSlenderman

I wonder if it's gonna be teleportation or doc-oc


Miogeta

You can now stand still in the woods creepily and your mere presence terrifies people.


Jacobbrn18

Did you have to call me out so personally?


Pixelim

Roses are red I hope it won't be lame What would be the power of my username


DragoKnight589

You can turn poems into a pixel-y font like the Minecraft font


Puzzled_Answer5592

Power poetry


Space_Shark_12345

Greetings


sunni_lulz

well i mean you can summon sharks, but they always end up in space directly above you, where they die rather instantly. At some point, the shark will fall down to earth, and not a single soul will have any idea why sharks keep falling out of space and there will be a mass panic about aliens.


CheezePabLo

moxy


im_a_hoe

hippity hoppity get off my propert


smol_boi-_-

You're very good at digging


trotamundos12680

Ñ


DeadBody_withaphone

You're Italian now?


pieman289_

you can type in spanish or at least a language or something with ñ


Norces

Wi-fu


pianospace37

You are an illiterate Viking


Fellow_Worker6

You know everything about Norse mythology


ErrBodyDoTheChopChop

do me


smol_boi-_-

You're a Kung Fu master


OmittedSphinx69

Anything


smol_boi-_-

You can 69 the Sphinx


OmittedSphinx69

I am ok with this. Also nice


GodzillasDiarrhea

This is going to be fun!


smol_boi-_-

You are a radioactive pool of sludge


guyoth

Your superpower is to cure diarrhea to every Godzilla you see


NotUntil_I_Die

Pla add something


smol_boi-_-

Immortality


lajuho

Ok lets see what you got


WitheredDGX69

You unlocked super harassment ability


pieman289_

some random guy does not know your name


RefrigeratorMuch9776

you can make anybody speak nonsense


just_jokebro_chill

I hope its good


Miogeta

Everything you say will be taken as “just a joke”. I mean everything, jokes, racial slurs, promotion requests, your proposal.


gunz_blazing

Let chaos reign


smol_boi-_-

Every gun you touch catches fire


DeadBody_withaphone

Cheese


Space_Shark_12345

When you die a phone will fall out of no where.


DeadBody_withaphone

Cool extra phone for my murdurer


madforminecraft

Pls god pls


Miogeta

You can now play Minecraft for 48 hours straight… no bathroom breaks required.


madforminecraft

Thank you God , pls bless this unknown guy


The_Awesone_Mr_Bones

you just lost the game


just_jokebro_chill

You now have Sans abilities


The_Awesone_Mr_Bones

[megalovania starts playing]


AnonymousOptometrist

Bruh


pieman289_

you can like fix peoples eyes or something idk


DeadBody_withaphone

You coom diamonds


Wildwolflaps

Oh no


DragoKnight589

A wolf sits on your lap and becomes your friend.


Hotshot596v2

Please be good, please be good


smol_boi-_-

You can raise the temperature of a shot of whiskey.


Correct_Leg_5389

I read it, ha


smol_boi-_-

You always land on the correct leg.


CaptainStroon

You will use the correct leg for any task. But you can only use this power 5389 times.


Ihavedryballs

Balls


lord_habanero

You no longer have dry balls


Ihavedryballs

Kyle agreed on licking my balls?


carlo_the_man

Hmm


smol_boi-_-

You're a woman


Mrtoast5654

I can summon a army platoon with a company of tanks,helicopters, and attack planes and I am basically immortal with all the units too


Miogeta

Except they’re all toast.


Careless_petrich0r

5654 toasts


W3E_Wee

Do me right lads


donotreiterate

Your super power is extremely high pressure urine


taskbarz

good luck


fuckmeuntilicecream

You have unlimited amount task bars open all the time that can never be closed and topics can never be chosen.


taskbarz

memz virus?


Siddhartha_76

I wish to be intelligent. Pls i need it.


chaoticrays

You become Buddha but only while you're 76


Benwagonhoff

This could be interesting


Floexer

You are that Train-monster from YugiOh


Noferas

Salad


Voilssssss

AND HE IS FLYING HIGHER THE KING OF THE SKY


SadEngine8

Anatidaephobia - The fear that somewhere a duck is watching you


MisterFibster

anything


DragoKnight589

You lose the ability to tell the truth


DaanOnlineGaming

Big chungus


UnoReverseCard10

You can play online games when offline


DaanOnlineGaming

My alt is called daanoffline lmao


SmolButTall

Chese


Wreckless_Driving

You have the power to change size like Ant Man/Giant Man


Public-Erection-CFNM

This will be interesting...


getcreampied

ಠ ͜ʖ ಠ


potatoman800

cream pie a random person every time you eat pizza


Big_Daddy010

thanos