By - LunchThreatener
This clearly should not have been marked “serious.” As you were.
We killed a dude lol
Blood on your paws
It's the circle of life 🎶
When is the circle renewed?
On the day we arive to the planet
And blinking step into the sun...
There's more to see
That can ever be seen
Or to do that can ever be done
Never mind. It's a tie!
I guess I'll just die!
With despair and cope.
*Til we find our place…*
*In the draft unwinding!*
*It’s the ciiiiircle…*
*The circle of TIES!!*
*...the circle of Detroit...*
Lol holy fuck, I'm dying
oh no, not another casualty!
Long live the King!
“All hail the King,” - Dan Campbell before taking out the Steelers kneecaps
AutoMod: This is a serious post
Top comment: We killed a dude lololololololololol
This sub is really great sometimes.
I mean the obituary has a sense of humor I think we can. I think they would appreciate it lol
Just like the no politics rule that always gets ignored
Lol I don't get why the thread is serious in the first place considering the obituary itself is supposed to be humorous.
Yeah, it would literally not be allowed on this subreddit if it didn't.
I mean dude clearly had a sense of humor. RIP.
Lmaooo I thought the exact same thing
Granted, but how can you take an obituary like this serious?
Dan Campbell absolutely loves this.
Honestly, probably the most remarkable thing your franchise has ever done.
Edit: this was said in love lmao. Detroit is my NFCN brother. Fuck anyone who got some shit to say about em who ain't in the division. Or if you're down for the cheese. Come on and get Nagy fired tomorrow lions bros.
2nd most remarkable. A player on our team died during a game.
We've killed two dudes.
The Lions have an actual body count, something I thought was reserved for the Raiders.
Man the NFC north really just is the Packers and like 3 cripples fighting lol
We can walk sometimes! But then we get too excited, start to run, trip and fall down some stairs, and break every bone in our body. Then, 11 years later when we've fully healed, we do it again.
Hey the Bears had that one year almost 40 years ago
Cheer up, at least you’re both no longer tied for the most Super Bowl losses ever
The Broncos and Patriots have combined for 10 Super Bowl losses! What a bunch of bums!
What’s this Super Bowl I keep hearing about?
It's some kind of exhibition game they play in February
Except that time in the 80s when the bears actually did something
More like 3 teams that haven't had 3 decades of HOF QB play versus one that has.
But the day of reckoning is nigh. And we shall reap our vengeance.
It's gonna be interesting when Rodgers is gone how the NFC North shakes out.
He's gonna be a Bronco, I'd bet.
Well the packers have 2 consecutive losses to a cripple so what does that say about them
Ahh I miss those days.
Yeah, but that's nothing new. Lions fans are all dead on the insides already, their bodies just haven't caught up yet.
Your fanbase was already dead inside so you've moved on to other victims I see
It’s amazing how the thread is marked serious and this is the top comment. Like damn.
What was the comment?
> We killed a dude lol
And here I thought it would be the Seahawks or Vikings to do it first
At least the obituary writer didn't tag the obituary serious.
I'd imagine Mr. Olexa lived a good life if he left behind relatives that can laugh like that at such a moment of potential sadness. He probably had a great sense of humor himself.
And now for Week 12 he's on to Cincinnati.
Damn dude why are you so sure he’s headed to hell
“Hell is real”
It’s called Ohio
It’s a well known fact that everything south of Columbus is actually Kentucky
Truth. "South of 70" is like a different state.
Cleveland and Cincinnati are only 4 hours apart but are radically different cultures.
This hurts my feelings but it’s accurate
Hell is real, and it's the AFC North.
Fuck that sign.
If nothing else, I love it for the fact that it's become a meme. I used to hate it. Now I laugh.
Not hell, The Medium Place.
Better than BORTLLLEEEES
Jason figured it out?! This is a new low. Yeah, this one hurts.
The absolute peak of this show was when the Jaguars were doing really well IRL and making the Playoffs, and they used this as evidence in the show that the group's actions was breaking reality.
Yeah I mean, *you don't live in Cleveland*.
Honestly if the Bengals were to change their name to the Cincinnati YDLiC's that would be a perfect way to embrace the team's history.
It could be worse, you could be in DETROIT!
STILL NOT DETROIT!
bro, we gonna get em on the highest line in the sky
ROLFMAO. I knew that would be one interpretation, but for a Pats fan, those are the words of the prophet, Saint Bill, in whom we trust.
Anyone who hates Cincinnati is a friend of mine
*Set out runnin' but I take my time*
*A friend of the 'nati is a friend of mine*
*If 'troit scores on this drive*
*This game might not end up in a tie*
I didn’t do it either. The title got it flagged automatically
The Mods are Michael Keaton in the funeral scene of The Other Guys.
His 60 minutes interview a few weeks ago was great
Really thought he should have won for Birdman but seeing him back in major movies have been great. Hopefully Brendan Fraser can have the same success again.
I also saw recently he’s in that popular new show Dopesick which has a very interesting premise. I love him in historical fiction type roles so I gotta check that out
Bird man was a near perfect movie
He’s incredible in dopesick and should get nominated for something in tv shows
Watching Brendan Fraser slowly come back into acting and getting support from his fans is actually really nice to see.
Sorry, OP. I didn’t mean to come off like a jerk there but I did. I’m so glad you posted this—it really cracked me up.
When I go, hopefully sometime after the Pats’ 20th ring, I hope my family says something as funny about me and you post it here.
Exactly, I take that kind of obituaries very wholesome. Its so much more personal & obviously it doesn't mean people who loved him aren't sad by his passing, it just shows they knew him well and knew what mattered to him. And if it brings at least a breif smile from people who mourn him it helps a little :)
One thing I love about my massively dysfunctional family is the way they handle tragedy: with a healthy dose of humor and deflection. My mom's brother passed away (the first of her generation to pass away) and in the obituary she literally put "he is survived by her sister, the best thing to ever happen to him..." etc lol
Poor guy had to live thru seeing his home team win six super bowls, eight conference championships, and twenty-four division titles. One struggles to understand how he bore the weight of such a load.
Most of the lions fan base would die for half of that success.
Dude I’d take 1 playoff win in my lifetime. We have ONE playoff win since the start of the super bowl era. Think about it, if a team from wild card weekend makes it to the conference championship game, they’ve already won more playoff games in a single playoff than the Lions have SINCE 1968!!
Right? I've never even been excited. If this guy was a Lions fan he'd still be alive.
I never knew how good we have it. I guess I shouldn't be so hard on my team with how much ass yall suck.
as the old saying goes
*thank god for the detroit lions*
It could be worst though at least we're not Detroit! We're not Detroit!
I don't think any god wants credit for the Lions. Devils, maybe.
Holy shit, I knew it was bad but I didn't know it was 1 playoff win ever bad
Saints' fans be better thanking Drew Brees because, without him, we're in the same boat.
Tim Tebow has as many playoff wins as the Lions.
Look at it this way, the Lions have never *lost* a Super Bowl.
The Lions are the only team that would finally make the Super Bowl, and someway, somehow, through some weird event or improbability, it would end in a tie. I know this is almost impossible to happen, but if the Lions are involved, all bets are off.
Exactly. You see lots of fan bases say their team is trash, but no one can beat the Lions at sucking.
Mariners fans looking around wondering what these magical "playoffs" are
I've only seen three in my lifetime, but they've been few and far between and the last one was 11 years ago. And even then the next game we lost to the Packers. Just be careful what you wish for....
I wonder what that's like
He should have been a Jags fan. /s
\- sincerely, Patriots fan
Thank you! Even as a joke this is obtuse.
Patriots fan dies of broken heart after missing playoffs for the first time in 12 years.
Nah, guy loved his Steelers, hated even a couple of semi-down years. Those are the sort of fans you want.
Gotta keep them expectations high so the standard stays the standard
This would explain my dating life but in the wrong direction
It really is way more important than most fans think. As a dolphins fan, we’ve basically wasted 20 years now confusing mediocrity for hope. Good franchises like the Steelers stay good because no excuses are made, you reach expectations or it’s a failure, and players, coaches and management have that sense of urgency every year as a result
As a Steelers fan, agreed. The guy is dead and condolences to the family and all that, but the “Haha this guy can poke fun at his team!” jokes don’t land for every team. The Yankees are currently on their longest stretch without a championship, no one should feel sorry for them and their fans would just be annoying af if they complained about how long it’s been.
My uncle who is one of the biggest Chiefs fans I ever met, had two massive strokes the day after we lost to the Pats in the 2018 playoffs. He’s much better now and it’s sort of a family joke that it happened because of our defense
Shortly after the Browns win the Super Bowl, I expect to take my last breath.
Then again, I'll probably croak during the playoffs. The luck of the typical Browns fan.
Old friend of mine died of cancer the week before the Browns playoff win last year..he was a rabid fan.. made me sad
Our sub was filled with stories of dads grandfather mothers and so on of people that passed before our win and I’m pretty sure the most upvoted post on eagles sub is just that.
A rapper I used to follow that repped Philly hard died due to medical complications like a year before your win.
Tragic he died so young in general but just sad he didn't live to see the win.
Didn't Philip "I'm not going to live to see the Seahawks win a Super Bowl" Seymour Hoffman die like a day before they won?
I’m glad he survived and got to see the SB win. Despite the flair I genuinely mean that.
Thanks man. Some things are bigger than football and at the end of the day, we all love the same sport anyhow
I’m not even a Steelers fan and that game made me want to kill myself. Idk it was just stressful because my brain couldn’t understand why they did that game
Idk why but the Steelers really do have a tendency to play down to their level. What happened to the Steel Curtain era?
Well most of those players are in their 70’s now, so there’s that.
No excuse. That’s what I call a losing mentality
PS are the best managed team of all time : this is indisputable : but old MFs knocking off for good is a problem. I am assigning it to you personally to figure this out.
How about every year each team takes turns picking who they think are the best players coming out of college? We can base where each team picks based on their performance the prior year, with the worst team picking first, 2nd worst picking 2nd, and so on. We’ll go for like, 7 rounds so we can replace the older players leaving the NFL and other players that just aren’t working out. Teams can even trade picks for current players or even other picks if they want, who cares.
We’ll call it the draft or something and air it on TV as a money grab, make a big spectacle out of it.
Actually, crazily enough, they already do something like that
You know that event once a year where the Commissioner comes onstage so we can all boo him?
Apparently, since they know people will tune in to that, they try to capture new viewers by having whatever sideshow they can schedule after that--like when they put whatever new reality show after the Super Bowl. I heard that they've done something similar to your "draft" idea at least the last few years, I think, I usually just turn it off after the Booing of the Commish
I've watched past the Booing, but it isn't a draft or anything. Just a bunch of inspiring stories about young athletes overcoming adversity to play really well in college. And beer commercials. Man, some of those kids are good too, they could work out on an NFL team given the chance.
It really is amazing how many athletes lost their entire family to pancreatic cancer and play football in their memory.
I don't know. I've watched it for like 10 years and my team always gets a handful of those young athletes to come play, but they end up looking like they've never really played football before.
Well, except one time, but we made sure to send that guy to Chicago.
I dont know....do these college players have really sad back stories to play sad music to?
Yeah I don't want to draft a guy unless I know about his mom's drug overdose in 1997. Good point.
The Steel Curtain was closer to WWII than the present
Oh yeah, before Chuck Noll the Steelers were literally the worst team in the NFL. They were the basement.
Thanks, I hate it.
> tendency to play down to their level.
If you don't like that you don't like AFC North Football!
Most entertaining OT ever. Also this is a game, people shouldn't take it too seriously.
I really enjoy that OT. It was peak football comedy.
Honestly as a Steelers fan I kinda just dissociate from reality when we start playing down to the lions, 2018 Browns ect…
I barely even watch games where we play dogshit teams anymore. It's too fucking stressful. If we do well, there's no joy, only relief. If we fuck up like usual, it's absolutely maddening to watch.
I just absolutely hate watching the Steelers in general. There's never ever ever ever ever ever an upside. It's only just stress, agony, or frustration.
Yet I keep fucking coming back.
For real. Every game has to be annoyingly close, usually because we shoot ourselves in the foot with dumb turnovers, dropped passes, or defensive errors despite outplaying the other team. Even when we think we're actually going to blow a team out, our defense has shit the bed and made games unnecessarily close so many fucking times that it never feels comfortable even when we have a 28 point lead. This year hasn't been so bad because I expected us to suck ass, so any victory is more of a pleasant surprise, but overall it's been so fucking exhausting following this team over the last decade
How the Jaguars haven’t done this to me yet I do not know
We’re already dead inside, so I imagine it’s hard to kill a husk
What is dead can never die
Explains the survival of a lot of those Florida Man stories
Florida Man is eternal.
Damn, what a way to go
Imagine being a Steelers player knowing that your play was so bad it made a guy literally go off and die
*We're not going to make excuses. It is what it is.*
*That isn't the standard. The standard....is the standard.*
Several players have been requested to lower the coffin so they can let this man down one last time.
[Link to Wayne Olexa's obituary. RIP](https://www.pittsburghcremation.com/obituaries/wayne-olexa/)
Quite the athlete himself; he probably died thinking even he’d be better than Mason Rudolph at QB.
and he was probably right
Mason Rudolph killed a guy
Garett saw this coming and tried to save him just couldn’t seal the deal
Wow he's really stepped up his game since the last time he attacked somebody.
Just like how The Bus' fumble against the Colts gave a Steelers' fan a heart attack.
You just had to bring that up...
You and I both know it was an interception.
76 means he was there the last time the Lions won a championship. A privilege I do not expect to share.
1 "bad" season and steelers fans start dying bruh
And they call us the fair weather fans smh man
Do you guys have any weather but fair? You completely tore down and are rebuilt after one season of nearly 0.500
...I uh cried my way through the Rod Rust season
poor bastard experiencing that. wasnt even born yet
Pre Brady era was painful for anybody who was alive to experience it.
It's funny, most Pats fans I know were pretty whatever about our record last year. It just felt like we were due (long, long overdue) and we're super lucky to have a competitive team this year.
As a fan of football in general, though, the 2020 Pats were not fun to watch. It would have been more fun if they lost in spectacular fashion doing dumb shit but they played it safe _and_ sucked.
Every season we don’t make the Super Bowl is a bad season. That’s how spoiled we are.
And that fade has been happening for awhile now.
The Steelers are one of those teams that you always expect to be good. Or we did anyway…now it seems like they’re expected to be a decent. It’s a decline.
I like the saying "there's contenders and there's pretenders"
The Steelers are the only team that manages to be both, lmao
Let this be a lesson to you all: Never say a tie never killed anyone.
>Never say a tie can knot kill anyone.
I would have volunteered to die in his stead by the end of that game.
Found yinzer of the decade
this was marked serious but bruh
Seems to be automoodded that way on account of the deathening.
The Steelers killed a guy!
and not just their kicker
Steelers I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while because you're probably wanted for murder.
Someone link the Curb episode
In one word: magical
The one where the Jets kill Carl.
Cardiac Cats strike again!
Other than it's interminable length, regulation time really wasn't as bad as what took place in OT; I wonder how many were lost to that inevitable countdown to a tie without someone there to record those moments and express it in words. Also some Detroit fans no doubt felt a strange calmness settle onto them.
That's two that I can think of.
Remember the guy who wanted Cleveland Browns to be his pall bearers so they could let him down one last time?
God Steelers fans are dramatic lol
We all joked about wanting to die but this guy went and did it
His last words, "Fire Tomlin".
Thought this was the Herman Cain for a minute
I too suffer from long term Pittsburgh Steelers. I have good days and bad days but that I feel like that Lions game took years off my life.
My wife and her entire family are Steeler fans. I’ve never seen a fan base hate their own team so much.
He was a true Steelers fan, an initiate of the patented Steelers Experience^TM
He played down to the Grim Reaper
What a legend, reminds me of the yinzer who taunted his Flyers fan friend with a 1975 joke in his obituary
Mason Rudolph straight up iced a motherfucker
Glad to know it happens with other teams as well
Lol honestly, although we are mortal enemies, Cleveland and Pittsburgh fans are so similar with this shit. I'd go out the same way old man, good for you.
Please give me a Browns SB win before this.
Now this guy here? This guy is a Steelers fan.
The rest of y'all are just pretenders to his throne.
This joke just doesn't work with the steelers, they are acting like they are the browns
That was one spoiled fan if the Steelers killed him
Just pay Calvin you monsters