How to move forward past the trauma women have caused me?
By - truisluv
I would stay single and only focus on you. You are stuck in a karmic cycle with these girls and to break it you have to heal from your mother and grandmother. Until thats healed you keep attracting the same because thats your vibe you send out. Sounds like you have Codependency issues. I had it too. I healed it by putting myself first.
I’ve stayed single and focused on myself (a little on and off, but still) for the past 3 years. Ive healed a LOT and grown a LOT and understand myself so much better. I’m not planning on being single for the rest of my life, I want to be in a relationship with this girl and she wants one with me. I just know it’s scary for both of us… she’s never had a real relationship and I’ve only had shitty ones… idek what’s better lol.
Well she is already wanting you to convert. To change so she is comfortable. That is putting her needs before your needs. Put yourself first and do what you want in the situation. Codependents usually attract takers because they are over givers. Its the law of attraction.
I know it’s not her wanting me to change though, it’s just that her entire life, all her family and friends, are built around her belief in Christianity. She only wants me to change so her family will accept me (and continue to accept her) and idk if that’s wrong. I want to tell her to just forget it and the people that actually care about her will reveal themselves, should I tell her that?
And if she doesn’t it’s not as simple as just cutting it off with her. We work together and the closest people I would consider friends work there too.
Follow the wisdom and guidance from your heart and tell her to forget it. That if people really care about her they will be ok with it. If she really cares about you she will be ok with it.
OP, if you convert to her religion, that's only the start of a long line of things this family will want you to change.
Okay, I will definitely do this because I feel like our egos keep getting in the way of our love. Idk what to do if she says no though… but I’m sick of letting her talk over me when I ask her to talk
I should probably also mention that I’m having a bad day and I’m very moody. I have been healing a lot from this trauma but it still gets to me sometimes. I think I can really build something great with this new girl but I know it’ll take time I’m just really really really scared. I think she is too though because I think she’s a lot like me and o don’t think I could ever get sick of her. I’m kind of just missing her right now but I’m scared to say it.
It’s so f hard. Heal the divine feminine in you. Broken women had broken fathers who had broken mothers. It’s a vicious cycle. I wish I had better answers. We’re all suffering from wounded divine feminine. Start with reparenting yourself, self care, inner child healing. It’s hard and it takes time. Good luck 👌🏽
Yeah 100%. I understand the cycle of trauma and am trying my best not to recreate it. But I often find my self stuck between not opening my wounds and not opening other people’s wounds… I have certainly opened myself more to my “feminine side” over the past few years, but it is often hard when I’m around my family. I moved out to college for 3 months and achieved more growth than I did in the previous 2 and a half years combined.
" Fisrt you get the money, then you get the car, then you get the woman"
- Tony Montana, Scarface
Best advice I ever heard too late. If you look beyond the letter of those words to the spirit, I think he means you gotta get yourself secure first. And when your secure in yourself, then you can worry about finding the right woman, or rather, the right woman will find you. Peace and love bro. ✌🙂